Los Angeles Jewish Home's Blog
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Keep My Tongue from Speaking Evil — Letter from the Rabbi
These thoughts came to me in connection with a very odd story in one of the Torah readings this month. The Israelites are on their way to the Promised Land, and are passing close to the territory of a local king. This king, Balak, is frightened by the strength of the Israelites and fears they may attack his country. So he commissions a seer, or prophet, from a far-off land, to come and curse the Israelite people. That way, the king thinks, they will be weakened and easy to defeat. Curses were seen in those days as powerful weapons to put down another person or even a whole people.
Now the prophet, whose name is Balaam, would be quite happy to do as the king is asking him, especially as he will be well paid for his trouble. It seems he has no great love for the Israelites, and no moral problem with cursing them. His problem is God! During their time in the wilderness since leaving Egypt, the Children of Israel have often behaved badly, and have grumbled a great deal, but God is not going to let them be harmed either by curses or by foreign armies.
So God warns Balaam repeatedly that he must speak only the words that God puts in his mouth. Whatever Balaam’s bad intentions may be, God makes sure his tongue speaks only good words. Three times the king orders Balaam to curse the Israelites, and three times Balaam utters words of blessing. In speeches that infuriate King Balak, the prophet Balaam praises the Children of Israel, recognizes that God is with them, and prophesies that they will have success in their endeavors.
The idea of cursing may seem very old-fashioned, but words do matter: Our tongues have great power to deeply affect the world of others. We can raise others up, as Balaam did; or we can bring them low, as Balaam would have done if God had let him. We see ourselves as good, loving people, and most of the time it is true. We may not realize it when our words, or our tone of voice, or the expression on our face, cause hurt to another. Even silence can hurt, for instance when I withhold appreciation for something good that has been done for me. I know for myself that I can be impatient and my words may come out more harshly than I would want. If only we could find the right words and the right tone at the moment we need them! It doesn’t mean there is no proper place for anger or for criticism. Of course there is. But we can still do our best, in the way we talk, to make sure the other person is not made to feel small.
Just think how good it feels when someone speaks kindly to you, or even just smiles at you. Doesn’t it add to your sense of wellbeing; or if you are feeling bad, doesn’t it brighten your life a little? And if we have said something silly, how much better it is to be responded to with understanding rather than with contempt!
Many of us know the words lashon hara – saying bad things about someone else behind his or her back. Most people love gossiping, which often means saying negative things about others. Even if those people never hear of it, their good name is being stolen from them, making them the subject of ridicule or contempt.
The tongue we have in our mouth is an instrument that can bring great good or great harm. May God help us to make all our words, and the way we speak them, a source of blessing to others, and never a source of curse!
Labels: Evil Tongue, For the Spirit, Lashon Hara, Letter from the Rabbi, Power of Words, Speak, Torah
Monday, June 24, 2013
Hedgehogs and Rabbits and Snakes…Oh My!
The Outreach Program was created to reach out to individuals who cannot easily visit the zoo. Trained docents, such as Norma Porter, Rose Marie Walker, and Marjorie Hawkins, bring small, live animals and other touchable items to nursing homes, schools for children with disabilities, hospitals, and daycare centers. Norma, who has been a docent with the zoo for sixteen years, explains, “It’s very hands-on. We encourage our audience to touch the items (including pelts and skulls from animals that died of natural causes) and to touch the animals as well. For seniors, it’s also a chance to reminisce, perhaps about an animal from their childhood.”
Francine Finkelstein, director of therapeutic activities at JEKMC, says, “This was a great opportunity for our residents to see the animals, touch them, and relate to them.” And relate to them they did! From the first presentation – actually a stuffed life-sized toy kangaroo complete with a “joey” in her pouch – the residents were engaged. Did you know that, when a kangaroo is born, it’s about the size of a walnut? This was the first of many interesting facts the docents shared.
During the first part of the program, residents had the opportunity to see and touch pelts from a coyote and an ocelot, as well as two pelts from reindeer (one lighter to blend in with snow and thicker to provide protection from the cold of winter). The residents learned how diet is related to jaw and tooth structure for various animals.
Then the fun really began as the live animals came out to meet the residents. First up: a black and white guinea pig, a popular pet in many homes. Handled by a docent, Gabby, as she is nicknamed for the noises she makes, was touched gently with two fingers by willing residents. Just stroking her fur brought smiles and laughter to the room. The rabbit was next, with everyone oohing and aahing over her incredibly soft fur. The hedgehog required thick gloves to be worn by the docent and provided a look at her adorable little face, but no touching! Lastly, the tortoise and the snake took their turn around the room, with some opting not to learn what the snake’s skin feels like.
The docents brought energy and obvious passion for their volunteer work to the event, and the residents responded to them and their charges with openness and wonder. “It was very interesting and so informative,” said resident Muriel Peregoff. For Paul Stark, his favorite part of the program was the rabbit. “I had rabbits, and my daughter has them now,” said Paul. “My rabbit would sometimes get out of his cage, but when I called him, he would come.”
The Zoo Outreach Program provided the Home’s residents with a visual and tactile experience, an opportunity to learn new information and ask questions, and a chance to connect with a few of the animals that share this world with us.
Labels: Animals, Education, For the Spirit, Grancell Village, Guinea Pig, Hedgehogs, Jewish Home Residents, LA Zoo, Learning, Rabbits, Seniors, Special Event, Zoo
Monday, June 10, 2013
Grandparenting Dos and Don'ts
At the same time, the role of grandparents can be tricky. It can be hard to find the right balance between being involved and being over-involved.
"The key is to find your place in the family. You must fit into the family culture, rather than challenging it," says Gayle Peterson, PhD, a family therapist specializing in family development, in an article on nuturecenter.com.
A review of the advice offered by Peterson, as well as other such as AARP family expert Amy Goyer and grandparents.com columnist Barbara Graham, garnered some common themes for keeping the "grand" in grandparenting:
Grandparenting Dos
- Respect the parents decisions of your children: Know their rules and be willing to enforce them.
- Support your grandchild's parents from the beginning: Welcome your new in-law as family and establish a good relationship with him or her.
- Make time for your grandchildren: Do projects together. Share your hobbies and learn about the activities your grandchildren love. Travel with your grandchildren if possible, whether for a day trip or longer excursion.
- Keep in regular contact with your grandchildren. Use phone, email, and video chatting to stay in touch when you can't get together in person.
- Accept that you may have made mistakes in parents and that your children will as well. Know that child-rearing styles change with each generation.
- Help out whenever you can, but not so much that you resent it.
- Maintain balance in your own life.
- Don't try to be the parent.
- Don't try to buy affection.
- Don't offer unsolicited advice to the parents.
- Don't "compete" with other grandparents.
Witkovsky keeps a standard weekly phone appointment with each of his six grandchildren, who range in age from 10 to 30. He also asks them what subjects not to inquire about.
Witkovsky urges keeping up with your grandchildren's activities so you can ask relevant questions and have meaningful discussions. For example, instead of asking "How's school?" see if you can subscribe to the school's parent newsletter. Or ask your grandchild for his or her English class reading list and read some of the books so you can discuss them together.
"Grandparents and grandchildren have a responsibility to teach and learn from one another," says Witkovsky. "Grandparents can and should be a vital part of the family."
Labels: Dos and Don'ts, Family, Family Dynamics, For the Spirit, Grandfather, Grandma, Grandmother, Grandpa, Grandparents
The Basics
Maintaining good oral health is important at any age. That means brushing teeth at least twice each day with a fluoride toothpaste and soft bristle brush; flossing daily; and visiting the dentist for regular cleanings and exams. If you have dentures, brush them daily with a soft toothbrush and denture cleaner. Keep dentures covered with water or a denture cleaning solution when you're not using them. And remember, even if you have dentures and no natural teeth, you still need to see your dentist regularly to maintain overall health.
A Window to Your Health
"Your mouth is a window into the health of your body," says Christina Robles, DDS, a Los Angeles Jewish Home clinic dentist. "It can signal you're not getting enough nutrition or an infection is present."
In addition to revealing your health status, notes Dr. Robles, oral health can also affect your overall health. Bacteria and inflammation caused by periodontitis (severe gum disease) may contribute to cardiovascular problems such as heart disease, blocked arteries, blood clots, and stroke. People with gum disease are almost twice as likely to suffer from heart disease as those who have healthy gums.
Also, condition such as diabetes and blood cell disorders can lower the body's resistance to infection, which make periodontal diseases more severe. People with diabetes are more likely to develop periodontitis and have more severe cases of it than those without diabetes. This, in turn, can make it more difficult for people with diabetes to control their blood sugar.
Potential Mouth Problems Associated with Aging
Gum Disease: When plaque —then thin film of bacteria that accumulates on teeth — builds up along and under the gum line, it can cause gingivitis (gum disease). Gingivitis often causes red, swollen gums. If gingivitis progresses to periodontitis, it can lead to infection that damages the bones, gums, and other tissues supporting the teeth. Nearly 23 percent of adults between the ages of 65 and 74 have periodontitis.
Dry Mouth: About 30 percent of older adults experience dry mouth, a reduced flow of saliva. Prescriptions and over-the-counter medicines are often the culprits. Drinking plenty of water and chewing sugarless gum can help with dry mouth, while consuming caffeine, tobacco, and alcohol can worsen it.
Oral Cancer: Cancer of the mouth can develop in any part of the mouth or throat, and occurs most often in people over 40 years of age. See your dentist immediately if you notice any red or white patches of your gums or tongue, or if you have a sore that doesn't heal within two weeks.
Problem Solving
It can be difficult to brush teeth if you have arthritis or other dexterity problems. Make the toothbrush easier to use by inserting the handle into something easier to grip, such as a bicycle grip or rubber ball.
If you have difficult chewing, chopping, grinding, or pureeing foods may help. Canned fruits and vegetables are often softer than fresh —but be sure to get sugar-free varieties.
Take care of your oral health and you'll have something to smile about — a healthy mouth and a healthier body.
Labels: Dental Health, Dentist, Dentures, Floss, For the Body, Gums, Mouth, Oral Hygiene, Periodontal Disease, Periodontitis, Teeth, Toothbrush
Thomas Fuller
17th century English clergyman and historian
Once we reach a certain age, we may believe we've lost our ability to learn. After all, sometimes we can't even remember where we've left our keys. Yet research shows we can continue to learn throughout our lives. Our brains have a quality called neuroplasticity — the ability to physically change as a result of our experiences. Neuroplasticity allows us to literally make new connections in our brains. This phenomenon is one of the reasons mental activity may help prevent dementia.
"Even for the elderly, the human brain continues to grow new neurons, and mental exercise improvies brain functioning," ways Devorah Small-Teyer, MSW, director of social services at the Los Angeles Jewish Home's Joyce Eisenberg-Keefer Medical Center. "Non-routine activities arouse the brain and keep it processing new information."
If you doubt the ability to learn later in life, you might be inspired by Willadene Zedan. In May, she received her college degree from Marian University in Wisconsin — at the age of 85.
It's true that we learn differently as we age. For one thing, we don't learn as quickly and we're more easily distracted. However, older adults have certain cognitive advantages, such as better reasoning and judgement, than their younger counterparts.
In The Secret Life of the Grown-Up Brain, New York Times science editor Barbara Strauch notes that, "my middle age, the brain has developed powerful systems that can cut through the intricacies of complex problems to find...concrete answers." In addition, she says we've gained "a broader perspective on the world, a capacity to see patterns, connect the dots, even be more creative."
Certain kinds of learning seem to benefit the brain more than others. Interviewed in The Secret Life of the Grown-Up Brain, Elizabeth Zelinski of the University of California says we need to constantly challenge our brains with novelty. "Crossword puzzles are not enough. You are mostly trying to find words you already know," she says. Instead, she suggests, try "something hard for you — not so hard that you lose focus — but hard."
At the Los Angeles Jewish Home, providing residents with new learning experiences is a priority. One of the ways this is being accomplished is through the use of iPads. Residents who have never experienced this type of technology are learning to use iPads for a variety of activities. Some "travel" around the globe thanks to Google Earth and other websites. Other enjoy books with the help of larger fonts available on these devices. Residents are learning about email and blogs. They are Skyping with family members and friends.
"Social workers have also been showing our residents apps to help improve their mood, to help stimulate cognition, and decrease social isolation," says Small-Teyer. "The iPads are enhancing residents' communication with the outside world and helping them feel connected."
Using iPads is just one way seniors can pursue stimulating new experiences. Many other opportunities exist. Learn a challenging game, such as chess. Take up a new hobby, such as woodworking or knitting. Learn a new language or how to play an instrument. Take a class at the local community college or senior center. Volunteer at an animal rescue shelter, food pantry, or library. Taking classes and volunteering have a double benefit because they involve interacting with other people. Socializing is another way to promote mental sharpness.
Learning can and should be a lifelong endeavor. Not only is it an enjoyable pursuit, but it benefits our brains as well.
Labels: Brain, Cognitive Exercise, Cognitive Fitness, Cognitive Health, For the Mind, iPad, Learning, Neuroplasticity