Los Angeles Jewish Home

Every Friday afternoon, the rabbis on both campuses visit residents to make Kiddush. The whole ceremony is aimed at giving warmth, joy and a sense of community as we welcome Shabbat. The actual "Kiddush" (the word means "making holy") is the part of the ceremony recited over wine or grape juice; it is about thanking God for giving us this holy day. What is a holy day? I want to suggest it is time set aside for the soul.

The Jewish tradition gives us lots of these holy days — days when, if we allow it, the rhythm of our life changes. The basic model for the Jewish holy day is Shabbat (the Sabbath) which comes every seven days; that's about 52 Sabbaths every year. In addition, there are 13 days on the Jewish Holidays, some solemn, some days of celebration, which Torah tells us are to be days of rest, just like Shabbat. That adds up to 65 holy days a year — more than two months in every twelve!

In a world where so much emphasis is placed on achieving and being productive, it might seem terribly wasteful to have all those days when we are supposed to stop achieving, stop being productive, in effect stop doing, and instead just be. Jewish tradition gives us these days — Shabbat in particular — as days when we should be free of productive work. If we look at the Ten Commandments, it becomes clear that all people, and indeed working animals too, need time (at least one day in every seven) to rest. What a major contribution to society the Sabbath was; and we are still feeling the benefits today!

One resident, talking about the requirement in the Jewish tradition that we should not work on Shabbat, said to me: "But that's all very well, Rabbi! Many people have to work on Saturday, their livelihood depends on it." Yes, I know and respect that. My own father, who kept Shabbat much of the year, would nevertheless go to work on Saturdays in the months of October to December, as he was in the toy trade and that was the vital and busy time for his business.

As important as Shabbat and the other holy days are, what I think is equally important is the lesson they teach us: that stopping and being are absolutely essential to us. But it isn't just that weary bodies need and deserve rest. So do souls. Whether or not we observe the traditional Jewish days of rest, it is so important to spend time away from the tasks and the worries of everyday life, and instead give ourselves the opportunity to feed our souls, so that we are spiritually enriched, renewed, even re-created. Isn't that what the word recreation means?

Whether we make space for ourselves on the days our tradition offers, or at other times, that space is so essential. I talked about this in my resident groups. Outside the world of prayer (I believe that prayer is wonderful nourishment for the soul), I think my own favorite ways of replenishing (or re-creating) myself are walking in nature and listening to classical music. Residents said that activities like these can "calm the spirit"; and "let you know what is important".

We can lose ourselves in so many ways: playing or listening to music; painting or pottery or other arts and crafts; wandering in nature among trees and sky, hills and valleys; reading a good book; song and prayer… What do I mean lose ourselves? I think that (if we are fortunate) we step aside from every-day worries and concerns, and from the busy-ness of our minds; it's as though we are lost in a deeper part of ourselves. But in an important way, we also find ourselves. We know who we are, and sometimes we may feel the closeness of God. What a blessing!

Labels: For the Spirit, holy days, Kiddush, Shabbat, traditions

I'm looking forward to a good 2014. Are you? Or are you more of a pessimist? Some people look to the future with a positive sense of how life will be; for others, thoughts of the future fill them with fear and anxiety. I had a group discussion with residents the other day about what it meant to be an optimist or a pessimist, and whether our attitude to the future affects how we live our life.

As some residents pointed out, there are situations where a level of fear about the future may be appropriate, and may lead to taking useful precautions. For instance, it would be foolhardy to let a small child play with a pot of boiling water bubbling on the stove. And many people are careful not to spend too much time in the sun without protection. But taking proper precautions in a situation where the danger is real does not make one a pessimist — just a careful person.

However, if we are always fearing that the future will go wrong for us (or for those we love) — for example that every small ache and pain is a certain sign of the most horrendous illness, or that whatever we set out to do, we are sure to fail — that really is a picture of a pessimistic nature.

On the other hand, if one's natural assumption is that things will turn out right, it's as though one is facing the future with a smile. It is perfectly possible to be a careful person, taking note of dangers in our path, and still hold a rosy view of the future. Indeed, isn't our future more likely to be rosy if we take sensible note of real dangers?

One resident pointed out that being an optimist or a pessimist makes a significant difference to how we live our lives. An optimist is much more willing to try things, to take risks. Life is expanded that way, and can feel like an adventure. Pessimists, on the other hand, would be more likely to avoid unnecessary risks, and stay with the activities that are most safe and familiar to them.

So why am I thinking now about attitudes to the future? Is it just that we are about to embark on all the unknowns of 2014? A bigger reason is that I am at an age when it's impossible to ignore the fragility of life. With each further step I take into my seventies, I am ever more aware of all the things that can turn out in unwelcome ways. If being optimistic means believing that those things won't happen to me... well, how can I possibly be confident of that? Working at the Home provides a constant reminder of the hardships that accompany getting older — and of our residents' courage in facing those challenges.

And yet, looking into the unknown future, I do feel optimistic. I have come to think there are two kinds of optimism. The first kind of optimism is a trust that for many years the future will hold lots that is good and little that is bad. We can affect that only in limited ways; for although we may have some influence on how life treats us — like the way we eat or exercise — we know we cannot control life's events.

While I pray for good in the future, I know that in the real world I cannot rely on it. This is where the second kind of optimism comes in; and this one is up to us. While we have little control over what happens to us, we do have quite a lot of control over how we respond to life's happenings. If the first kind of optimism is about our trust that life will treat us well, the second is about our trust in ourselves — that we will not let life's events knock us flat. (A pessimist, on the other hand, might believe he would be absolutely devastated by the events he fears.)

So here I am on my life journey. So far it's gone pretty well, but what of the future? And what do I mean when I say I am optimistic? Well, I do trust that things will go well; more importantly, I also trust in my ability to deal positively with what life sends me. It's not a magical belief in a good future. It's a trust that I have the resilience to live a life that is positive and fulfilling with the circumstances that come my way.

May we all have a 2014 full of good, and the ability to meet the year's challenges with a smile.

Labels: For the Spirit, Future, Letter from the Rabbi, Life, Live Life to the Fullest, New Year, Positive Outlook

A few weeks ago I heard a wise and learned rabbi say something that really made me think. How odd, he said, that Judaism gives us first Rosh Hashanah, the New Year, and then Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement! First we celebrate the New Year with apples and honey, and then after just a few days, we spoil the celebration by having to repent and ask forgiveness of all we did wrong the previous year.

Wouldn't it be better to do it the other way around? Shouldn't we first seek atonement, and then — cleansed and joyful — enter into the celebration of the beginning of a fresh new year? Certainly that would make good sense; but there is another way of looking at the sequence, which adds extra power to these High Holy Days.

A major aspect of Rosh Hashanah is celebrating the creation of the world. As the prayer book says, Hayom harat olam — today is the birthday of the world. So let us on this day contemplate and celebrate the beauty and wonder of the world God has created:

• A world where we can look after our environment, so that the atmosphere is free from pollution, the air is clean, and the seas are pure.
• A world where rain is abundant in its due season; where rivers flow full but safe within their riverbanks, irrigating the land and giving human and animal alike plentiful and pure life-giving water.
• A world where people and nations pursue justice, so that every person in the world has his or her share to eat, access to drinking water, and safe shelter.
• A world where rulers and governments are wise and just, assuring a decent and good life for all their citizens.
• A world where women, and people of all sexual orientations and races and religions, are treated honorably and with equality.
• A world where immigrants seeking safety and a good life are respected and enabled to play their part in society.
• A world where war is unknown, as nations know the value of seeking peace and cooperation with their neighbors.
• A world where people have an overwhelming desire to spread happiness and to be compassionate and protective to others.

Just describing this world makes me feel so good, that I want to praise God and to say to everyone; what a wonderful world we live in! ... Wait a minute though! did that sound anything remotely like the world we know? or was it more a description of an idealized Garden of Eden? We have only to contemplate the actual world we live in, and compare it with the world we all know it should be — the world I have just described — to know what a gulf there is between the two.

I understand the creation story as God's gift of a potentially wonderful world. Just as we human beings, created in God's image, have the potential to be so much more than we often manage to be, so too the world is only a beginning of what it could be. Let us, on this Rosh Hashanah, this birthday of the world, celebrate that potentially wonderful world, with an honest recognition of all the ways it falls short.

At this season, we are not only celebrating, we also are starting the process that culminates on the day of Atonement, a process of looking at what we have achieved, both personally and collectively, and what we have failed to achieve; what we have done for the good of the world, and the negative things we have done that contribute to the world's shortcomings. Every act we do or don't do makes a difference to the health of the world we are passing to our children and grand-children.

As well as enjoying the good and the love in our lives, and wishing each other a new year filled with sweetness and good, we can hold in mind that idealized picture of the world, and know that it is within the power of every one of us to move this imperfect world an inch or two towards that beautiful potential.

Labels: Elman, For the Spirit, High Holidays, Letter from the Rabbi, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur

I’ve been asking this question in synagogue and in classes over the last couple of weeks, for we have just started reading Deuteronomy, the last book of the Torah. Moses knows that he is very close to the time of his death, and that the Israelite people will then cross into the Promised Land without him. In a series of speeches, Moses reminds the people of the major events of their travels, goes over many of the laws he has taught them, and implores them to walk in God’s ways when they are in their new land. He is making a gift to them of his values.

Moses is impassioned in his teaching and in his pleas. He fully recognizes that the people, naturally endowed with free will, are prone to choosing to go their own ways, rather than follow the spiritual and ethical path he has taught them.

We all have a sense of what is good and worthwhile, and what is not. Just as Moses urged his people to follow God’s ways and lead an ethical life, shouldn’t we give our children and grandchildren guidance based on the fruits of our own experiences? Of course it’s most important to teach by example; but many people, as they reach advanced years, quite rightly want to be more explicit in the values they pass on.

One resident surprised me by saying we shouldn’t try to teach the next generation anything, as they know more than we do. It is true that, in many cases, the children and grandchildren of residents have been blessed with more education that the residents had, and have gone further in the world of careers; but what the older generation has is a lifetime of experience, wisdom, and knowledge of what it means to live a life that is good and worthwhile.

As we get older, most of us have a clearer sense of what is really important in life. I remember someone approaching the end of her life who said that now she realized that what really mattered were relationships with family and with friends. This person now saw how nurturing our connection with others was a higher value than all the measures of success in the world, like money or fame.

At one class, when I asked what values residents would want to pass on to later generations, one said: Work for society. It was a call to pursue fairness and justice in society, perhaps the major theme of Torah. Another talked of kindness, another of generosity. We touched on gratitude. (In recent years, gratitude for the blessings in life has become for me one of the strongest aspects of what it means to be religious).

One resident spoke from the heart when she called out: Be forgiving. This is wonderful advice to pass on, and especially good to think about as we approach the High Holy Days.

Then there are values like honesty; or courage; or humility. As the story of Moses shows, even a strong leader can have humility. Or would you emphasize respect for all other human beings, and want to teach the importance of listening to people and seeking to understand them? There are residents who are very communal-minded, and stress the importance of love for the Jewish People and support for its causes and institutions.

A number of residents talked of faith in God as paramount; I know that such faith has been the essential support to many people in meeting life’s challenges, including surviving years in concentration camp.

Do you remember the values your own parents taught you? A resident spoke movingly of his parents’ last words to him when they put him on the kindertransport at the age of 11. His mother’s simple words to him were: Be good! He never saw his mother or father again, but those words have remained a guiding light to him his whole life.

Each one of us has had our own experiences which have helped develop our values. We all have much that’s worthwhile to pass on to the younger generations. Let’s take the time to do it.

Labels: For the Spirit, Legacy, Letter from the Rabbi, Torah, Values

Do you ever feel uncomfortable about things you have said? I think sometimes we all do. If we wanted to avoid ever saying things we later regret, we’d probably have to keep silent all the time! Our Sages recognized how common it is for us to speak “evil” – to say things our better self wishes we hadn’t said. That is why they placed at the end of the silent Amidah, the set of blessings which is central to Jewish prayer, a personal meditation that starts: My God, help me keep my tongue from speaking evil. If only God, or some watchful personal angel sitting on our shoulder, could check our words before we utter them!

These thoughts came to me in connection with a very odd story in one of the Torah readings this month. The Israelites are on their way to the Promised Land, and are passing close to the territory of a local king. This king, Balak, is frightened by the strength of the Israelites and fears they may attack his country. So he commissions a seer, or prophet, from a far-off land, to come and curse the Israelite people. That way, the king thinks, they will be weakened and easy to defeat. Curses were seen in those days as powerful weapons to put down another person or even a whole people.

Now the prophet, whose name is Balaam, would be quite happy to do as the king is asking him, especially as he will be well paid for his trouble. It seems he has no great love for the Israelites, and no moral problem with cursing them. His problem is God! During their time in the wilderness since leaving Egypt, the Children of Israel have often behaved badly, and have grumbled a great deal, but God is not going to let them be harmed either by curses or by foreign armies.

So God warns Balaam repeatedly that he must speak only the words that God puts in his mouth. Whatever Balaam’s bad intentions may be, God makes sure his tongue speaks only good words. Three times the king orders Balaam to curse the Israelites, and three times Balaam utters words of blessing. In speeches that infuriate King Balak, the prophet Balaam praises the Children of Israel, recognizes that God is with them, and prophesies that they will have success in their endeavors.

The idea of cursing may seem very old-fashioned, but words do matter: Our tongues have great power to deeply affect the world of others. We can raise others up, as Balaam did; or we can bring them low, as Balaam would have done if God had let him. We see ourselves as good, loving people, and most of the time it is true. We may not realize it when our words, or our tone of voice, or the expression on our face, cause hurt to another. Even silence can hurt, for instance when I withhold appreciation for something good that has been done for me. I know for myself that I can be impatient and my words may come out more harshly than I would want. If only we could find the right words and the right tone at the moment we need them! It doesn’t mean there is no proper place for anger or for criticism. Of course there is. But we can still do our best, in the way we talk, to make sure the other person is not made to feel small.

Just think how good it feels when someone speaks kindly to you, or even just smiles at you. Doesn’t it add to your sense of wellbeing; or if you are feeling bad, doesn’t it brighten your life a little? And if we have said something silly, how much better it is to be responded to with understanding rather than with contempt!

Many of us know the words lashon hara – saying bad things about someone else behind his or her back. Most people love gossiping, which often means saying negative things about others. Even if those people never hear of it, their good name is being stolen from them, making them the subject of ridicule or contempt.

The tongue we have in our mouth is an instrument that can bring great good or great harm. May God help us to make all our words, and the way we speak them, a source of blessing to others, and never a source of curse!

Labels: Evil Tongue, For the Spirit, Lashon Hara, Letter from the Rabbi, Power of Words, Speak, Torah

Residents of the Joyce Eisenberg-Keefer Medical Center (JEKMC), located on the Jewish Home’s Grancell Village campus, recently played host to some very special visitors: a guinea pig, a rabbit, an African hedgehog, a tortoise, and a snake. These mammals and reptiles were at the Home as part of the Los Angeles Zoo’s Outreach Program.

The Outreach Program was created to reach out to individuals who cannot easily visit the zoo. Trained docents, such as Norma Porter, Rose Marie Walker, and Marjorie Hawkins, bring small, live animals and other touchable items to nursing homes, schools for children with disabilities, hospitals, and daycare centers. Norma, who has been a docent with the zoo for sixteen years, explains, “It’s very hands-on. We encourage our audience to touch the items (including pelts and skulls from animals that died of natural causes) and to touch the animals as well. For seniors, it’s also a chance to reminisce, perhaps about an animal from their childhood.”

Francine Finkelstein, director of therapeutic activities at JEKMC, says, “This was a great opportunity for our residents to see the animals, touch them, and relate to them.” And relate to them they did! From the first presentation – actually a stuffed life-sized toy kangaroo complete with a “joey” in her pouch – the residents were engaged. Did you know that, when a kangaroo is born, it’s about the size of a walnut? This was the first of many interesting facts the docents shared.

During the first part of the program, residents had the opportunity to see and touch pelts from a coyote and an ocelot, as well as two pelts from reindeer (one lighter to blend in with snow and thicker to provide protection from the cold of winter). The residents learned how diet is related to jaw and tooth structure for various animals.

Then the fun really began as the live animals came out to meet the residents. First up: a black and white guinea pig, a popular pet in many homes. Handled by a docent, Gabby, as she is nicknamed for the noises she makes, was touched gently with two fingers by willing residents. Just stroking her fur brought smiles and laughter to the room. The rabbit was next, with everyone oohing and aahing over her incredibly soft fur. The hedgehog required thick gloves to be worn by the docent and provided a look at her adorable little face, but no touching! Lastly, the tortoise and the snake took their turn around the room, with some opting not to learn what the snake’s skin feels like.

The docents brought energy and obvious passion for their volunteer work to the event, and the residents responded to them and their charges with openness and wonder. “It was very interesting and so informative,” said resident Muriel Peregoff. For Paul Stark, his favorite part of the program was the rabbit. “I had rabbits, and my daughter has them now,” said Paul. “My rabbit would sometimes get out of his cage, but when I called him, he would come.”

The Zoo Outreach Program provided the Home’s residents with a visual and tactile experience, an opportunity to learn new information and ask questions, and a chance to connect with a few of the animals that share this world with us.

Labels: Animals, Education, For the Spirit, Grancell Village, Guinea Pig, Hedgehogs, Jewish Home Residents, LA Zoo, Learning, Rabbits, Seniors, Special Event, Zoo

Being a grandparent can be one of life's most fulfilling roles, one that benefits both you and your grandchildren. Grandparents can share valuable life lessons with their grandchildren, enjoying a nurturing  relationship without many of the day-to-day burdens of parents. Grandchildren, in turn, can gain a sense of family history and belonging as well as receive a special kind of love that differs from the love they get from their parents.

At the same time, the role of grandparents can be tricky. It can be hard to find the right balance between being involved and being over-involved.

"The key is to find your place in the family. You must fit into the family culture, rather than challenging it," says Gayle Peterson, PhD, a family therapist specializing in family development, in an article on nuturecenter.com.

A review of the advice offered by Peterson, as well as other such as AARP family expert Amy Goyer and grandparents.com columnist Barbara Graham, garnered some common themes for keeping the "grand" in grandparenting:

Grandparenting Dos

• Respect the parents decisions of your children: Know their rules and be willing to enforce them.
• Support your grandchild's parents from the beginning: Welcome your new in-law as family and establish a good relationship with him or her.
• Make time for your grandchildren: Do projects together. Share your hobbies and learn about the activities your grandchildren love. Travel with your grandchildren if possible, whether for a day trip or longer excursion.
• Keep in regular contact with your grandchildren. Use phone, email, and video chatting to stay in touch when you can't get together in person.
• Accept that you may have made mistakes in parents and that your children will as well. Know that child-rearing styles change with each generation.
• Help out whenever you can, but not so much that you resent it.
• Maintain balance in your own life.

Grandparenting Don'ts

•  Don't try to be the parent.
• Don't try to buy affection.
• Don't offer unsolicited advice to the parents.
• Don't "compete" with other grandparents.

Jerry Witkovsky, a social worker and former general director of the Jewish Community Center of Chicago, focuses on the third and fourth bullet points of the Do's list: sharing experiences with grandchildren and keeping in regular contact with them. Founder of Grand Consultants, he is currently writing a book, entitled The Grandest Love: Inspiring the Grandparent-Grandchild Connection (XLibris Press).

Witkovsky keeps a standard weekly phone appointment with each of his six grandchildren, who range in age from 10 to 30. He also asks them what subjects not to inquire about.

Witkovsky urges keeping up with your grandchildren's activities so you can ask relevant questions and have meaningful discussions. For example, instead of asking "How's school?" see if you can subscribe to the school's parent newsletter. Or ask your grandchild for his or her English class reading list and read some of the books so you can discuss them together.

"Grandparents and grandchildren have a responsibility to teach and learn from one another," says Witkovsky. "Grandparents can and should be a vital part of the family."

Labels: Dos and Don'ts, Family, Family Dynamics, For the Spirit, Grandfather, Grandma, Grandmother, Grandpa, Grandparents

Sometimes life is hard, desperate even. I am thinking of the times when everything seems to have gone wrong. Whether or not that is literally true, the effect is the same: we feel miserable, hate our lives, and there seems to be no way forward. Have you ever felt like this? It may have been during a prolonged disability, or after a dear person in your life has passed away and you feel terribly alone.

We may try to find a way forward, perhaps by meeting with a psychologist or some other wise listening person, perhaps by prayer, perhaps by throwing ourselves into activity. Over recent weeks, through my teaching in preparation for the festival of Shavuot, I have been inspired by another kind of key to unlock the gates that seem to keep us trapped.

Let’s look at the miserable situation of Naomi, as told in the biblical Book of Ruth (read every year on the second day of Shavuot). She has left Bethlehem in the Land of Israel, together with her husband Elimelech and their two sons Machlon and Chilion, and settled in the Land of Moab. But in the months and years that follow, disaster strikes – again and again and again! First Naomi’s husband dies. Her sons marry Moabite women, Orpah and Ruth, but after some years both sons die, and Naomi is left with only her daughters-in-law.

It is not hard, I think, to imagine just how desolate Naomi is, having lost her husband and both her sons. Naomi feels that life in Moab has nothing to offer her now, and decides to go back to Bethlehem. She tries to persuade her two daughters-in-law, Orpah and Ruth, each to return to her family home, where they might marry Moabite husbands, and find security. At first both young women insist on staying with Naomi, but in the end Orpah gives away and reluctantly returns to her family home.

As for Ruth, her words must be among the most beautiful expressions of love and loyalty in all the Bible, indeed in all literature: Wherever you go I will go and wherever you stay I will stay. Your people shall be my people and your God my God. Wherever you die will I die, and beside you will I be buried. How can Naomi argue against such love and such absolute determination?

Why does Ruth make such an astonishing and moving pledge? She can have no expectation of reward, and must know that Naomi is right: Ruth would have a much better chance of security and happiness if she returns to her family and lives among her own people. What is so beautiful about Ruth’s pledge to Naomi is that it is pure giving, pure love.

So the two women go on to Bethlehem together, where the turns of the story lead Ruth to a good man called Boaz. Ruth and Boaz marry, and Ruth gives birth to a son – the grandchild Naomi never expected to hold. Through that son, two generations later, comes the great King David. How did such misery, as Naomi had experienced in Moab, turn to such nachas (joy)?

Surely it is Ruth’s selfless kindness towards her mother-in-law, with no expectation of reward, which brings about the change in the universe of these two women. Is there a lesson for us? Can our own selfless generosity change the world we live in?

When I raised this in my discussion groups, many residents were absolutely clear: yes we can change our world for the better; we can turn our life around. Some said it is because we change when we are particularly kind to others; others said that our own generosity can make others treat us better. I myself do believe that a selfless act of kindness and giving, without any expectation of reward, changes the universe for both the giver and the person who receives the act of kindness. We are no longer stuck in misery: we are in a new world.

Chag Shavuot Sameach - Happy Shavuot!

Labels: Book of Ruth, Elman, For the Spirit, Letter from the Rabbi, Naomi, Shavuot

Have you ever been hurt or damaged by what someone has done to you? Do you remember how it felt – and perhaps how the memory still upsets you? Were you treated brutally? Or taken advantage of financially? Were you teased or hurt by cruel things said to you? Were you damaged because someone was prejudiced against your people? Were you ignored or laughed at in conversation?

I think most of us can recall all sorts of ways we've been hurt, in our feelings, our body or our pocketbook. What do we do with these hurts? For some, what comes naturally is to take them out on others – to damage others like we've been damaged. Others may see the best thing to do is put aside our hurts (if not quite forgive and forget), and get on with our lives.

Because of a Torah reading this month that contains that powerful principle, Love your neighbor as yourself (sometimes called the Golden Rule), I have been thinking about a famous variation of it. Some of you may be familiar with the story about Hillel, the great Jewish sage who lived two thousand years ago: a non-Jewish person came before Hillel wanting to be converted, on condition that Hillel would teach him the whole of Torah while the man was standing on one foot. Hillel said to him, "What is hateful to you, do not do to others: that is the whole Torah; the rest is commentary; go and learn it."


What Hillel is doing here is taking the Golden Rule and making it much easier to understand and use. Love your neighbor as yourself is a wonderful principle from which all other moral rules derives, but it is not always easy to know how to apply to our lives. However, if we can hold in our minds the words of Hillel – What is hateful to you, do not do to others – we have a ready guide to behavior. For this principle tells us what to do with our own feelings about how we like, or hate, to be treated, and what to do with all those hurts we have suffered: not to put them aside, not to take them out on others, but instead to use them to guide our life and our actions for the good.

For instance, if I know how horrible it was for me to be teased or subjected to cruel words, I must never do that to others. If I recall the hurt I felt as a child being called a "dirty Jew" (thankfully that was not a frequent happening), then that must guide how I think about other peoples, or religions, or races, or nationalities: not ascribe negative characteristics to those groups, and not treat members of them badly because of those imagined characteristics.

If I have felt ignored when I was in need or distress, or when I had something to say, then I need to be especially careful not to ignore others. If I have found my reputation damaged because people have been gossiping about me, I must guard against gossiping about others. Of course there are many wrongs that I personally haven’t suffered, but I can imagine how much I'd hate the experience, and that should be a warning bell for me not to cause such wrongs to others.

Hillel's demand that we use our own experience and feelings as a guide to action is reflects a teaching found frequently in Torah, about how we should treat the "stranger" – i.e. the immigrant from another land who lives amongst us. The Torah teaches: "When a stranger resides with you in your land, you shall not wrong him. He shall be to you as one of your citizens: you shall love him as yourself, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt." We are to use our own bad experiences as strangers (and slaves) in Egypt – or wherever we have lived as a minority community in a country not our own – to ensure that strangers among us are treated much better.

While this is how Torah tells us to treat the stranger, Hillel's teaching, What is hateful to you, do not do to others, is a powerful reminder about all our actions. Our experiences, bad experiences in particular, are to be central to our moral stance in the world; and we cannot claim to be living ethically if we ignore those experiences in how we treat others.

Labels: Elman, For the Spirit, Hillel, Letter from the Rabbi, Love your neighbor, Torah

What does the Passover Seder mean to you? Is the special thing having the family gather for the Seder? Do you love the rituals of the Seder and the reading of the Haggada? Maybe for you the highlight is the meal? Perhaps we focus on our ancestors’ departure from slavery to freedom; or on the need to end the slavery that still exists in our modern world.

The Haggada, the book we read from at the Passover Seder, is primarily about the Exodus from Egypt, when we were brought out (“redeemed”) from slavery to freedom. But the Rabbis, who wrote the Haggada at a time of exile from the Land of Israel, were also praying for a future redemption: that the Jews should be gathered from the four corners of the earth and brought to a sovereign Land of Israel. For two thousand years, that prayer sustained our ancestors in so many countries of the world. In a sense, living in exile was like being in slavery.

The Passover Seder takes us a journey from something degrading to something wonderful. Thus we read early on in the Haggada: At present we are here (that means we are in exile); next year may we be in Israel. At present we are slaves; next year may we be free men and women.

At this point, we are still slaves, we are still in exile; but we are hoping and praying that we will be taken to a better place, to freedom, to sovereignty in our own land. By the end of the Seder, we have made the journey, and read the joyful lines: God took us out of slavery into freedom; out of grief into joy; out of mourning into festivity; out of darkness into a great light…

This had led me to think about the journeys from darkness to light we have made in own lives. Haven’t we all at some time gone from misery to joy, or from fear to relief to thanksgiving? For some it might be recovery from a difficult and frightening illness; for others it might be when we have moved beyond grief for the loss of a loved one, to enjoyment in life again – that discovery that there is light at the end of the tunnel. The most powerful stories come from those of our residents who are Holocaust survivors, who talk of moments in the camps that saved their lives, or when they lived the amazing moment of liberation.

I recently heard the story of someone who continued to live at home after her husband had passed away. She was lonely and unhappy; life was going nowhere. Still she fought against her daughter’s wish to bring her to the Jewish Home. (Did that seem like going from freedom to slavery?) Finally she agreed and entered the Home, and her life changed beyond belief. She became very close friends with her room-mate and, with her help, she developed a wider circle of friends. She attended discussion groups and language classes. This intelligent woman discovered that she had much to give, and she was widely liked and appreciated. This story is not unique. Others too have found their lives greatly enriched here. Out of grief into joy, out of mourning into festivity.

And if we look into the future, what is our dream for ourselves and for our world? One challenge lies in believing things can get better; it is all too easy to get stuck in pessimism that there is no way forward. That was true of the Children of Israel when they faced the Red Sea, which blocked their escape from the Egyptians. But tradition tells us of one man, Nachshon, who walked into the Red Sea and kept going forward step by step until the water rose almost to his nostrils. Firmly believing that there was a way forward to life and freedom, he took one more step – and the Sea parted for the Israelites to cross to safety. The story tells us that change does not just happen; we have to make it happen.

I think of all those people of vision, generosity and hard work who made the Jewish Home what it is today, step by step. I think of the new resident and her room-mate who together turned mourning into joy. When we feel we are stuck in Egypt, let us have the courage to believe that we can, step by step, start on the journey to liberation.

Labels: For the Spirit, Haggada, Letter from the Rabbi, Passover, Personal Growth, Pesach, Seder, Slavery

In 2007, Blaine Handell and Paul Grossman combined their musical talents – Blaine’s vocal styling and Paul’s keyboard mastery – to form the Blaine and Paul Duo. Their first performance was on August 7th of that year at the Jewish Home. On March 26, 2013, the duo celebrated their 1,000th performance. They currently perform five shows weekly – four at the Home and one at various senior care facilities. “I’m 72 and feel like I’m sitting on top of the world,” says Blaine. “We’re volunteers, but we’re well paid - just seeing the residents smile is all we need!” Paul agrees, adding “It gives us great joy because this is the perfect audience for the songs that we love to perform – from the 20s, 30s, 40s and 50s. It’s rewarding and great fun!”

On behalf of the residents and staff of the Los Angeles Jewish Home, thank you to the Blaine and Paul Duo for sharing your talents and making us smile!

Labels: Blaine and Paul, For the Spirit, Music, Performance, Volunteer

Frank Sinatra made it sound easy when he crooned, “Forget your troubles c’mon get happy/ You better chase all your cares away.”

Yet happiness can seem quite elusive. Can we make ourselves happy? And is happiness really such a worthy goal?

Positive psychology is the field of psychology that looks at the science behind what makes people thrive. It has yielded research suggesting we can, indeed, boost our levels of happiness. At the same time, there’s no single key to achieving it.

Rather than a key to happiness, a better analogy would be a recipe, Ed Diener, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology at the University of Illinois, explains on his website. “Most good recipes call for quite a few ingredients. Some are absolutely essential, and others are merely helpful,” he writes. “You need to have multiple ingredients put together in the right way.”

Psychologists are quick to point out that no one can expect to be happy all the time, and different things make different people happy. Nevertheless, most people’s recipes for happiness include the following crucial ingredients:

Connecting With Others
“If I wanted to predict your happiness, and I could know only one thing about you, I wouldn’t want to know your gender, religion, health, or income,” says Harvard Professor of Psychology Daniel Gilbert in an interview in The Harvard Business Review. “I’d want to know about your social network --- about your friends and family and the strength of your bonds with them.”

These bonds with friends and family improve our sense of wellbeing and help us weather difficult times. They also confer physical benefits. Having a network of social connections appears to increase our immunity to infection, lower our risk of heart disease and reduce mental decline as we get older.

Pursuing Meaningful Activities
Having challenging -- but achievable – goals can give our lives direction, purpose and a sense of satisfaction. In fact, working towards the goal may be as important to our happiness as reaching the goal itself.

Professor Gilbert, author of Stumbling on Happiness, suggests that we also pay more attention to what our minds are doing. “When you wake up on a Saturday morning and ask, ‘What am I going to do today?’ the answer is usually about where you’ll take your body – to the beach to the kids’ soccer practice, for a run. You ought to ask, ‘What am I going to do with my mind today?’”

Cultivating Gratitude
Many researchers note the importance of gratitude – noticing and appreciating the good things in our lives. Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology at U.C. Riverside and author of The How of Happiness, found that students who spent 15 minutes a week for eight weeks writing letters about experiences they were grateful for showed increased levels of happiness immediately after the eight week period. The effect persisted six months later.

U.C. Davis Professor of Psychology Robert Emmons found similar results: Subjects who kept gratitude journals on a weekly basis exercised more regularly, reported fewer physical symptoms, felt better about their lives as a whole, and were more optimistic about the upcoming week compared to those who recorded problems or neutral life events. Emmons details his research in the book Thanks: How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier.

Lending a Hand
Helping others boosts happiness, provides a sense of meaning and increases our feelings of competence. Social connection is a key ingredient to happiness, and helping others is one way to create that connection. A study published in the Journal of Health Psychology found that regular volunteerism decreased mortality rates by 40 percent, although it is not clear whether those who volunteered were in better health to start with.

Taking Care of Your Body
Being active is important for both physical and mental health. Regular physical activity helps maintain thinking and judgment skills. When we exercise, our brain releases chemicals -- including endorphins, adrenaline, serotonin and dopamine – that help reduce anxiety and improve mood. Exercise may also help us sleep better, which positively affects our mood. Meditation is another means of reducing stress and improving moods. And of course, a healthy diet keeps the body fueled and keeps sugar levels constant.

Although it may take some work to be happy, it appears to be worth the effort. Dr. Diener lists a host of benefits that seem to be associated with happy people, including stronger immune systems, longer lives, greater success and better coping skills. And perhaps achieving happiness may not be as elusive a goal as we might think. As Dr. Lyubomirsky says, “It just takes commitment and effort -- as with any meaningful goal in life.”

Labels: For the Spirit, Happiness, Nancy Sokoler Steiner

It’s funny how many people are quite sure their first meeting with their future husband or wife was beshert (it was “meant to be”), even though many of those same people insist that God plays no part of their lives. Most of our residents look back on 60 or more years of wonderful marriage, and it is hard to believe the way they met their husband- or wife-to-be could have been chance.

I’ve noticed how residents talk with delight about the way that first meeting came about, while their wedding itself hardly gets a mention. That’s true for me too. Just a few days ago my wife and I celebrated the tenth anniversary of the day we met (in Jerusalem). A day like that fundamentally changes the course of one’s life, while a wedding perhaps only confirms a course one has already decided on.

When we say “it was meant to be” or “God intended it” we are expressing our sense that life has meaning that is hidden beneath ordinary circumstances, in coincidences, even in silly mistakes. But why do we think a wonderful happening, like the one that led to a good marriage, is beshert, while we find it harder to say that about a tragedy? When something terrible happens, we are more likely to say God was absent, or God didn’t care, or God doesn’t exist. It would challenge our idea of a good God to suggest that God intended, or wanted, us to suffer hardship or pain.

I would never say to someone suffering loss or illness that God intended this to happen to them. That would be cruel and insensitive, and how can I know, anyway? And yet as we reflect on challenges in our own lives, we may experience trust that there is rightness to what happens, and out of that trust can come positive developments. Is that trust fanciful? That I can’t answer for sure. But my own faith, that there is meaning to the events in my life, has helped me grow from negative happenings, such as illness, so that I bring new changes to my life for the good.

In a few days we will be celebrating the Jewish festival of Purim, which is based on the Book of Esther. Now we all know that the Bible is largely about God, but in this strange biblical book, God doesn’t get a mention. The characters go through their events with the most human mix of silliness, chance, ambition, revenge, fear and courage. Yes, just like we tend to see our own lives.

But the name “Esther”, even though it is derived from a Persian name, connects to the Hebrew word for hidden. It is a hint that even in that very human Purim story, there may be meanings (and God) hidden under the everyday events. This is certainly what our Sages taught. In the Yiddish word we are used to, maybe the events – like the young Jewish girl Esther marrying the Persian King – are beshert.

I think this is what her cousin Mordechai believes. When he learns that the Jewish people face destruction at the hand of the wicked Haman, he seeks to persuade Esther not to be cowardly but to risk her life to get the king to save the Jews. Mordechai says, "Who knows if it is not for this purpose that you are here?"

I think it is that question that prompts Esther to overcome her fear, to wonder if perhaps it was beshert that the king divorced his previous wife and chose Esther to be his new wife. Out of those events grew the opportunity for Esther to save her people. She rose to the occasion, transforming both the situation and herself. Instead of being someone who things happened to, she became a person who made things happen. If we look at the events in our lives as beshert, that we are here at this moment for a purpose, how might we too transform ourselves so that we bring good to ourselves and the world about us?

When we are not making a noise to drown out the name of Haman (who stands for negativity and destructiveness) let’s ponder how Esther can inspire us to new creativity.

Labels: Beshert, Elman, For the Spirit, Letter from the Rabbi, Purim

As we begin the New Year and consider how to boost our physical and mental health, we need to include another important component of wellbeing: our spiritual health. Just as there are steps we can take to boost the health of our bodies and our brains, there are ways to enhance our spiritual fitness, regardless of our age.

In fact, Rabbi Rita Hertzberg, the Los Angeles Jewish Home’s Campus Rabbi for Eisenberg Village, believes our spirituality has the potential to expand as the years go by.

"As the body ages and the mind ages, the spirit grows," she says. "It’s the only part of us that doesn’t decline."

Scientists disagree on how and whether spirituality and religion influence health. Some studies have concluded that religious faith increases our ability to cope with illness, disability, loss, and mortality. Others have reported lower blood pressure and depression levels and longer lifespans among individuals with a strong personal faith who regularly attend religious services.

At the same time, some researchers believe there is not enough scientific evidence to conclude that spirituality is associated with health.

But perhaps it doesn’t matter whether the scientific evidence is conclusive. Experiences of residents at the Los Angeles Jewish Home clearly demonstrate that spirituality affects emotional health and quality of life.

"If we can get [spirituality] to kick in and to grow brighter, this becomes a light that can ease the darkness we feel that is natural in the aging process," says Rabbi Hertzberg.

Working with residents, Rabbi Hertzberg and her colleague Rabbi Anthony Elman, the Home’s Jack H. Skirball Director of Spiritual Life and the Campus Rabbi for Grancell Village, have both seen tremendous changes in individuals who have discovered or enhanced their sense of spirituality.

Rabbi Elman recounted the story of one resident who had lost her eyesight quite abruptly. Despite her loss, he said, "She is full of thanks to God for God’s help and to the Home for giving her a place to thrive and for gifts such as having the ability to dress and do other things for herself."

Another resident who was 85 years old and declining rapidly went through the process of having a Bat Mitzvah. She learned verses of the Torah and read them in Hebrew. "It was very meaningful for her and for her family," says Rabbi Elman.

Rabbis Elman and Hertzberg say that there are multiple avenues to spirituality. Certainly religion can be one path. "There's a statement in the Talmud which says that when two or more people study Torah, God is present. I believe that," says Rabbi Elman. "I [also] believe that prayer and a feeling that somehow I'm not alone – that God is with me – can help."

At the same time, he stresses that religion is not the only path to spirituality. "I try to introduce a sense of awe – which I take to mean opening oneself to something greater," says Rabbi Elman. While that may take the form of thanking God for our blessings, says Rabbi Elman, it can also involve marking occasions, such as Veteran’s Day or Martin Luther King’s birthday, where "people can be lifted to feeling and recognizing something greater than themselves."

Music can also be a source of spiritual enhancement. Rabbi Hertzberg says she sings a lot with residents, and that songs can be "a spiritual connection to the past" for them. "I've found music to be an amazingly powerful and spiritual vehicle," she says.

In addition, she believes many residents feel spirituality in their sense of community and connectedness. They may not know anyone when they arrive at the Home, but they soon establish relationships with staff members and other residents.

Whether through prayer, study, music, community, meditation, or other means, humans have the ability to enhance their spirituality at any stage in life.

As Rabbi Hertzberg puts it, "We don’t stop being a spiritual being until we take our last breath."

Labels: Elman, For the Spirit, Hertzberg, Rabbi, Religion, Spirituality

Talking with residents throughout the beautiful festival of Chanukah this year gave me a lot to think about. Remember how we light the lights on the menorah: one the first night, two the second, and so on till all eight lights are burning on the eighth night. What starts out as single point of light ends as a glorious display. Night by night, light increases.

So one of the questions I have been raising with residents is whether our light – the light that shines within us – increases as time goes on. I focused particularly on wisdom. As every resident knows, our memory certainly doesn’t improve with passing years, but wisdom is something that may live on within us quite independently of memory.

Some people said that experience made them wiser. As the years pass, we live through so many experiences, for good and for bad; and of course we all make mistakes, which – in theory – we learn from. One resident joked that she is allowed to make the same mistake twice, but twice is the limit! Another said that she always tries to ask herself: what did I learn from that mistake?

I think she’s right. Experience teaches us to make better decisions in how we live our lives only if we can reflect on what we have been through. For that, we need to know ourselves and what is really important for us. If we don’t, we can re-live patterns that don’t help us at all. We grow in wisdom when experience teaches us to understand ourselves and the world around us; that way, we are more able to make judgments that are good and healthy.

When we see our own goodness and also our own failings, and recognize these in others too, we are better able to face life’s challenges without being filled with negativity. It is my belief that love and compassion for ourselves and for all humanity are major elements in wisdom; indeed they are a basis for the biblical injunction to "Love your neighbor as yourself".

As we talked of the increase in light with the passing years, many residents felt that they were more compassionate than they used to be. Surely that compassion arises out of the knowledge that we human beings all share a certain frailty, all are struggling to do the best we can, and none of us can get it right all the time. Isn’t it true that a wise person recognizes and appreciates that shared humanity?

A growing wisdom many bring a deeper sense of what is important to us. It is interesting that, for many of us, our priorities change during our lifetimes. It is not, I think, just because circumstances change: it is also because we change. When residents talk of what is important to them now, they focus frequently on relationships and, most of all, family.

I was fascinated when one resident talked about the importance of compromise. What she meant was that we can’t always have things just as we want. That is true throughout our lives, but comes to the fore particularly as we encounter new situations, such as aging and disability. If you stick to your old view of how things ought to be, you get nowhere. In the words of one person, a lady who had spent years in Auschwitz: "You have to live life as it is, and thank God every day for your life and blessings". This was a theme for several people, and some noted that not every resident is able to adjust to life as it is.

I asked one person, whom I have known since the time she was still walking with ease, how she had managed her transition to having to use a wheelchair. I knew she would give me a thoughtful response; in fact what she said brought tears to my eyes. She said: "I had to face the truth – the truth of my situation. Once I could do that, the rest was easy." She was putting into words what so many residents know, reminding us that wisdom also involves courage – the courage to shine light on our lives and our situations, and face truths we might prefer to ignore.

Labels: Chanukah, Elman, For the Spirit, Hanukkah, Letter from the Rabbi, Wisdom

By Ellis Simon, 88
Jewish Home Resident

I don't know why, but I am sitting here thinking how lucky I am. I have a family that loves me, I have reached the age of 87 years old. Sure I have my aches and pains now and then, and sure I worry once and a while, but G-d has been good to me. I have many friends, I keep very active, I am very upbeat, and I love life.

I get up every morning and look forward to another day. I know I am going to eat three meals each day, and I know I have a place to lay my head every night. There are people here that are paid just to figure out how to keep me healthy and happy. There are people here that are paid just to figure out how to keep me active. There are people here that are paid just to see that I get three meals a day. There are people here that are paid just to listen to my concerns, and to help me get rid of those concerns. There are people here that are paid just to keep me healthy, and there are people here that are paid just to take care of any problems with maintenance and housekeeping of my living quarters. Also there are people here that are paid, and even some who volunteer, to provide transportation just so that I may shop, go to my doctor's office, or go out for some enjoyment.

So next time someone accidentally bumps you with their walker, or blocks your way, or disagrees with something you said, take it with a grain of salt. Just smile and remember how lucky you really are.

Labels: Aging, For the Spirit, Luck, Lucky, Positive Outlook, Senior Living, Simon

By Nancy Sokoler Steiner

Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.
~Victor Hugo

One of music's most striking powers can be seen in its impact on individuals with Alzheimer's and other forms of dementia. A dramatic example of this effect is found on a viral YouTube video featuring an elderly Alzheimer's patient named Henry. At first, Henry is slumped over in his chair, his head bent forward, his speech condensed. Then an aide gives him an iPod. The moment Henry starts listening, he becomes instantly animated: his face lights up and he begins to move his arms and legs. After his headphones are removed, he talks about his love of jazz, and sings lyrics from a favorite song.

Later in the same video, neurologist and author Oliver Sacks comments on Henry's response. "In some sense, Henry is restored to himself," says Sacks. "He remembered who he is and has reacquired his identity for a while through the power of music."

While music doesn't always evoke reactions as extreme as Henry's, it does seem to engage even the most unresponsive of individuals. That is one reason music plays a major role in the Los Angeles Jewish Home's skilled nursing and dementia care.

Susan Leitch, community manager of the Goldenberg·Ziman Special Care Center and Max Factor Family Foundation Building, notes that music is played throughout the day, and carefully chosen to set the tone and help cue residents. For example, calm, relaxing music is played in the evening to signal winding down of the day.

Music is also used more formally in music therapy sessions for skilled nursing and dementia care residents. Music therapist Cindy McGee facilitates sessions twice a week. These sessions, she says, are not sing-alongs; they are therapeutic interventions with specific goals.

One goal, called reality orientation, aims to bring participants who may not be aware of their surroundings into the present moment. Another is to aid recall and reminiscence by evoking thoughts and memories associated with the music.

During music therapy, says McGee, "participants will mention the name of a relative or tell a story they normally can't remember. It allows them to connect to something outside themselves."

As a recent session, McGee played Somewhere Over the Rainbow, and residents sang along. She asked them who sang the song, and passed around a photo of the Wizard of Oz cast. After several of them pointed to Dorothy, McGee asked them to name the movie.

"What would you ask the Wizard for?" she later queried the group.

"Good health," answered one.

"A good looking guy," said another.

Whether in the background or in a formal setting, music evokes a response. That response may be as subtle as the tapping of a foot, as dramatic as the transformation of YouTube's Henry, or as familiar as the desire for romance.

The beauty of music, it seems, is it's universal appeal. As Susan Leitch says, "Music involves everyone. It doesn't matter what level of function you're at."

Labels: Alzheimer's, Dementia, For the Spirit, Music, Nancy Sokoler Steiner, Therapy, YouTube

By Ellis Simon, 88
Jewish Home resident

During the summer months until the end of September, a lot of us residents looked forward to our Saturday Night Socials in Bagno Park hosted by the gracious Bea and Jack Kriger. The entertainment was great as was the camaraderie. Among the many diversified acts they provided were violinist Ellona Geller, vocalist Bernie Fisher, clarinetist Sam Glenn, comedian/singer Shalom Sherman, entertainers Larry & Brenda Shaw, and chanteuse Laurie Kamiel. The music ran the gamut from classical, semi-classical, popular, and show tunes. As one looked around, you saw many residents tapping their feet with big smiles on their faces as well as getting up and dancing. The weather was generally beautiful and warm, and everyone was sociable and having a great time. It’s one of the reasons we love the Jewish Home. We all owe a big THANKS to Bea and Jack, and look forward to their Saturday Night Socials next summer.

Labels: Activities, Bagno Park, Bea Kriger, For the Spirit, Jack Kriger, Jewish Home, Jewish Home Residents, Simon

By Alice Kulick, 88
Jewish Home resident

As I was watching Good Morning America, an author of the book “Time Keeper” came on. His concept on how we use time got me thinking about time and how we use it all our lives. We used our time as children at play, school and growing up to high school, proms and then onto college. When we married and had children, our time went very fast. Raising our children was a full-time job. Our home and family was so busy, we just didn’t know how much time had passed.

The years and our time also passed swiftly. Our ages also passed with time. Before we knew wit, we were senior citizens. Now we had lots of time. But how were we using it? We now enjoy our lives in the beautiful Jewish Home. But do we spend our days in our rooms watching TV or do we volunteer in the mail room, conduct tours, help our in the volunteer office? There are many jobs to volunteer for and committees to be a part of. We are all time keepers. Everyone has time but how we choose to use it can make our lives more valuable.

Labels: Aging, For the Spirit, Kulick, Life Cycle, Time, Time Keeper

By Nancy Sokoler Steiner

"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." — Plato

Sometimes, the things we like aren’t so good for us. Fortunately, that isn’t the case with music. It doesn’t have any calories, can often be obtained for free, and doesn’t require any special skills or abilities to be enjoyed.

In fact, music has shown a host of benefits, both physical and emotional. That’s one of the reasons it plays such a large role at the Los Angeles Jewish Home.

In terms of physiological changes, a Cochrane Review study (a study which looks at many studies) found that music reduces pain, sometimes enough to decrease required dosages of pain medication. Studies with cancer patients have shown that music therapy decreases heart rate, respiratory rate and blood pressure. And researchers in Europe have found that exposure to music can both raise the levels of antibodies and lower the amount of stress hormone levels.

Studies on the emotional impact of music show similar benefits. One study done with college students, for example, found that listening to music conferred more positive emotions. Not only that, but the music intensified already positive emotions.

“We humans know instinctively that music has primal power,” says Elena Mannes in her book The Power of Music: Pioneering Discoveries in the New Science of Song (Walker & Company, 2011). “Historians and anthropologists have yet to discover a culture without music.”

Los Angeles Jewish Home Resident Tess Friedman, 87, describes music this way: “It elates me.”

Friedman joined the Home’s choir when she came here four years ago. “It’s a way to not let yourself be old and to forget about aging,” she says about singing. “You can change your whole attitude and behavior for the day.”

Caryl Geiger, Activities Director for Residential Care, sees this effect among many residents. Professionally trained in piano and voice, Geiger directs the Home’s choir. “Everybody leaves [practice] happier than when they came in,” she says.

Lee Zuckerman, 89, was delighted to rediscover the joy of song when he joined the choir six months ago. He’s always enjoyed music – his son even became a composer – but hadn’t sung since he was in his high school choir. “I love music. I feel joy when I sing.”

But you don’t have to sing in order to experience music at the Home. In addition to enjoying the choir’s performances, residents can take advantage of a variety of musical offerings. Concerts are offered almost every Sunday afternoon, and there are also programs on Jewish music and regular sing-alongs. In addition, violist and music historian Joel Lish presents weekly music appreciation classes.

“All levels of residents respond to the music,” says Lish, founder and director of the Palisades Symphony. “Some sing along, clap to the rhythm or even play along on an imaginary instrument.”

Music will always be an integral component at the Jewish Home. As author and researcher Elena Mannes says, “Anyone who has been transported by Bach or Mozart, moved to weep by a national anthem or hymn, stirred to dance by a rock rhythm, or transported in time by the notes of a pop tune from the past knows the power of music.”

Labels: Aging, Feature Articles, For the Spirit, Healthy Aging, Music, Nancy Sokoler Steiner, Seniors