Los Angeles Jewish Home

by Kay Carmona
Los Angeles Jewish Home Resident

Holidays are an important part of our lives. They mean different things to different people; but we all agree that more than anything else, they bring families together and enrich our lives with nostalgic memories — memories to treasure and fill our lives with the love and warmth of family. This is especially true of Jewish holidays because, not only do they bring families together and weave sweet memories that last a lifetime, they are our link, or connection to the generations before us who passed on the values, commandments, and traditions of Judaism — even under the most trying circumstances — keeping it alive and current down through the ages.

Spring ushers in the festivals of Purim and Passover. I think most of us have memories of our childhood days, dressing up in wacky costumes as Queens Vashti and Esther, Mordechai, King Ahasuerus, and the booing, banging, and noisemakers at every mention of Haman. The delicious hamantaschen goodies, and the atmosphere of camaraderie and joy among family and friends.

Passover is a little more sedate, but also happy, recalling how Moses with God's Mighty Power brought us out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage, leading us to the Promised Land. There, again, most of us have sweet memories — or maybe not-so-sweet memories — of Seders from our early childhood with our parents and relatives, and with Seders of our own families and relatives. I remember as a child how long and boring the Seder seemed. My Dad was a Hazan and insisted on doing the entire Seder from cover to cover, which seemed to me to last all night! Dipping in the salt water and making little matzoh sandwiches was kind of fun, and I really liked the haroset. I was so happy to hear my father say, "Now dinner is served." I remember the first time my husband and I hosted the Seder at our house. We had finally furnished our dining room, but it was barely able to accommodate so many people. We have learned from our folks that there is always room for one more, even if you have to bring in the barbeque table from the patio and the kitchen chairs. I remember how proud I was when I "graduated" from the children's table to the adults' table, and how it brought back memories when our children came to sit with us. Yes, the Jewish holidays bring fond memories of loving family and happy times.

Labels: Carmona, Family, Jewish Holiday, Judaism, Memories, Passover, Pesach, Purim, Seder, Staff

This afternoon I was entering the Eisenberg Campus by way of The Heart Walk when I noticed that the late autumn winds had blown leaves into the candle holders of the bronze Chanukiah sculpture in front of the Newman Building. As I was removing the leaves I couldn’t help but think that in just a few, short weeks I would be gathering with the residents each evening of the eight nights of Chanukah to kindle the candles that would shine from this exquisite piece of ritual Judaic art. As has been our tradition in years past, we will make the blessings together and sing Chanukah songs—in Hebrew, Yiddish, Ladino, and English—before the Chanukiah’s flickering lights. I will remind the residents, as I always do, that the Chanukah candles may not be used for any practical purpose but should only grace our Jewish Home with their illumination and inherent beauty. The lights will be a link for all of us, not only to the miracles of our people’s shared history in days of old, but to memories of Chanukahs celebrated in each one of our uniquely individual pasts…long ago childhood twirls of dreidels, sharing latkes or sufganiyot with our children, watching the candlelight illuminate the faces of our grandchildren and even great-grandchildren. And I, as the Rabbi of Eisenberg Village, will watch the golden glow from the bronze Chanukiah dance on the beautiful, wrinkled cheeks of our beloved Jewish Home residents and marvel at the miracle of their long and fruitful years. When most of them were children, Chanukah was not a time for expensive gifts or commercial competition. Their memories are filled with gifts of the senses: the sight of a spinning dreidel; the scent of hot oil and the taste of delicious fried Chanukah treats; and, above all, the warmth that only love of family, community, and shared heritage can bring to the dark and bitter chill of winter. These were the children that would, indeed, become members of “The Greatest Generation.”

And so, as I take these moments to prepare the bronze sculpture that will soon spring to life and light, I am already filled to overflowing with the anticipation of sharing another Chanukah with the residents I am blessed to serve at the Jewish Home. They are, indeed, a collective light to the nations of the world, shining a warm glow of inspiration to everyone who is lucky enough to bask in their glow. Just by being themselves, they stand as a miraculous symbol of their people’s tenacity and longevity. For me, being able to share the Festival of Lights with these precious souls for yet another year, is the greatest gift of all.

Rabbi Rita Hertzberg leads synagogue services and provides spiritual guidance and pastoral care and counseling for the resident community of the Jewish Homes Eisenberg Village Campus. Among her well-attended spiritual education and outreach programs are her weekly Judaism class and the popular “Get Together with Rabbi Rita.”

Labels: Candles, Chanukah, Chanukiah, Dreidel, Eisenberg Village, Family, Hanukkah, Hebrew, Hertzberg, holiday, Jewish Holiday, Judaism, Ladino, Latkes, Rabbi, Staff, Sufganiyot, Yiddish

On Tuesday evening, we start the Jewish festival of Shavuot, originally a harvest festival but now most notably z’man matan torateinu, the season of the giving of our Torah. Traditionally seen as divinely given, Torah offers a way of life for a just and spiritual society. In synagogues throughout the world on Wednesday, people stand to listen in awe to the telling of that dramatic event at Mount Sinai, when the Jewish People stood at the foot of the mountain to receive G-d’s word, in the form of the Ten Commandments – major spiritual and ethical teachings, from worshipping the one G-d, to keeping Shabbat, honoring one’s parents, and a series of don’ts like not killing and not committing adultery.

But one commandment, the final one, always seems to me to be different from the others. It is not about worship, and it is not about what we do to others. It is about what goes on in the secrecy of our thoughts and our longings: we are told not to look over our garden fence and covet our neighbor’s house or wife or anything of his.

I have come to think of this odd commandment as an absolute necessity for a happy and fulfilled life. It is about wanting what is not mine. Many people have a tendency to see other people as having great advantages, whether financially, or in brain power, or in the beauty or seeming happiness of their family. This tendency leads to what can sometimes be the two most pernicious words in the English language – “if only”! If only I had a Mercedes like his! If only my wife/husband were elegant like that.

When we long for what is not ours, we are impoverished. A famous teaching in the Ethics of the Fathers goes like this: Who is a rich person? The person who is happy with his/her lot in life. This does not mean that we should not try to improve our lives. Of course it is good to strive for excellence in our various endeavors. Of course it is proper to work to better our financial situation or to do all we can to improve our health.

But I think there is a difference between trying to improve our lives, and the moping “if only” that is based on comparison to others. The problem may lie not only in jealousy of others, but in longing for what I myself once had. Let me explain: here at the Jewish Home, the residents who successfully build new lives are those that can say: This is my life, I will make the best of it. In contrast, those whose energy goes into longing for what was, when they were independent and ran their own homes, can never quite reach the place of finding life a blessing, thanking G-d for it, and finding new friends and new activities.

That tenth Commandment can be a reminder to us all that this is our life to lead in the fullest way we can – and a reminder of the wonderful wisdom of Torah!

Chag Shavuot Sameach – Happy Shavuot.

Rabbi Anthony Elman serves as Rabbi of the Jewish Home's Grancell Village Campus. His professional background is multifaceted, encompassing the fields of law, social work, and psychotherapy. Rabbi Elman has been with the Home since his ordination and graduation from the Academy for Jewish Religion-California in May 2007

Labels: Covet, Elman, Envy, holiday, Jewish Holiday, Live Life to the Fullest, Richness, Shavuot, Ten Commandments, Torah, Wanting