Los Angeles Jewish Home

What does the Passover Seder mean to you? Is the special thing having the family gather for the Seder? Do you love the rituals of the Seder and the reading of the Haggada? Maybe for you the highlight is the meal? Perhaps we focus on our ancestors’ departure from slavery to freedom; or on the need to end the slavery that still exists in our modern world.

The Haggada, the book we read from at the Passover Seder, is primarily about the Exodus from Egypt, when we were brought out (“redeemed”) from slavery to freedom. But the Rabbis, who wrote the Haggada at a time of exile from the Land of Israel, were also praying for a future redemption: that the Jews should be gathered from the four corners of the earth and brought to a sovereign Land of Israel. For two thousand years, that prayer sustained our ancestors in so many countries of the world. In a sense, living in exile was like being in slavery.

The Passover Seder takes us a journey from something degrading to something wonderful. Thus we read early on in the Haggada: At present we are here (that means we are in exile); next year may we be in Israel. At present we are slaves; next year may we be free men and women.

At this point, we are still slaves, we are still in exile; but we are hoping and praying that we will be taken to a better place, to freedom, to sovereignty in our own land. By the end of the Seder, we have made the journey, and read the joyful lines: God took us out of slavery into freedom; out of grief into joy; out of mourning into festivity; out of darkness into a great light…

This had led me to think about the journeys from darkness to light we have made in own lives. Haven’t we all at some time gone from misery to joy, or from fear to relief to thanksgiving? For some it might be recovery from a difficult and frightening illness; for others it might be when we have moved beyond grief for the loss of a loved one, to enjoyment in life again – that discovery that there is light at the end of the tunnel. The most powerful stories come from those of our residents who are Holocaust survivors, who talk of moments in the camps that saved their lives, or when they lived the amazing moment of liberation.

I recently heard the story of someone who continued to live at home after her husband had passed away. She was lonely and unhappy; life was going nowhere. Still she fought against her daughter’s wish to bring her to the Jewish Home. (Did that seem like going from freedom to slavery?) Finally she agreed and entered the Home, and her life changed beyond belief. She became very close friends with her room-mate and, with her help, she developed a wider circle of friends. She attended discussion groups and language classes. This intelligent woman discovered that she had much to give, and she was widely liked and appreciated. This story is not unique. Others too have found their lives greatly enriched here. Out of grief into joy, out of mourning into festivity.

And if we look into the future, what is our dream for ourselves and for our world? One challenge lies in believing things can get better; it is all too easy to get stuck in pessimism that there is no way forward. That was true of the Children of Israel when they faced the Red Sea, which blocked their escape from the Egyptians. But tradition tells us of one man, Nachshon, who walked into the Red Sea and kept going forward step by step until the water rose almost to his nostrils. Firmly believing that there was a way forward to life and freedom, he took one more step – and the Sea parted for the Israelites to cross to safety. The story tells us that change does not just happen; we have to make it happen.

I think of all those people of vision, generosity and hard work who made the Jewish Home what it is today, step by step. I think of the new resident and her room-mate who together turned mourning into joy. When we feel we are stuck in Egypt, let us have the courage to believe that we can, step by step, start on the journey to liberation.

Labels: For the Spirit, Haggada, Letter from the Rabbi, Passover, Personal Growth, Pesach, Seder, Slavery

In 2007, Blaine Handell and Paul Grossman combined their musical talents – Blaine’s vocal styling and Paul’s keyboard mastery – to form the Blaine and Paul Duo. Their first performance was on August 7th of that year at the Jewish Home. On March 26, 2013, the duo celebrated their 1,000th performance. They currently perform five shows weekly – four at the Home and one at various senior care facilities. “I’m 72 and feel like I’m sitting on top of the world,” says Blaine. “We’re volunteers, but we’re well paid - just seeing the residents smile is all we need!” Paul agrees, adding “It gives us great joy because this is the perfect audience for the songs that we love to perform – from the 20s, 30s, 40s and 50s. It’s rewarding and great fun!”

On behalf of the residents and staff of the Los Angeles Jewish Home, thank you to the Blaine and Paul Duo for sharing your talents and making us smile!

Labels: Blaine and Paul, For the Spirit, Music, Performance, Volunteer

When you begin creating or updating your estate plan, you’ll likely spend the bulk of your time on these two points: determining which assets you have and deciding which people and charities will receive these items after your lifetime. But have you given a thought to your online legacy and passing on your digital assets?

Management Tips
Digital assets include files and information stored in online accounts (like e-mail), domain names, online storage accounts and various social network sites. To help you gain some control over these assets, consider these helpful tips:

• Identify all of your online assets – email, Facebook, PayPal, bank accounts, etc.
• List the usernames, passwords, and security questions and answers, along with the accounts, on a computer spreadsheet that can be easily updated. The list should be stored on a USB flash drive or CD or printed and placed in a safe location such as a fireproof safe or safe-deposit box.
• Share the location of your list with a trusted person, such as your spouse or a loyal friend.
• Meet with an estate planning attorney to create a plan that will allow for easy transfer of your digital estate to your heirs.

© The Stelter Company
The information in this publication is not intended as legal advice. For legal advice, please consult an attorney. Figures cited in examples are for hypothetical purposes only and are subject to change. References to estate and income taxes include federal taxes only. State income/estate taxes or state law may impact your results.

Labels: Digital Assets, Estate Planning, Online Legacy, Stelter

The annual Joyce Eisenberg-Keefer Medical Center (JEKMC) art show was held on March 14, featuring beautiful paintings, hand-painted porcelain and ceramics, photography, and jewelry – all created by residents! “The art show is a great opportunity to show how talented our residents are,” says Francine Finkelstein, director of therapeutic activities. Many of the works were created by the residents here at the Home in the various art classes that are offered, such as painting with watercolors, ceramics, beading and arts and crafts.

For many of the Home’s residents, personal time to pursue a hobby was in short supply in their early adult lives – working and caring for family and home were the priorities. Discovering an artistic talent later in life comes as a pleasant surprise! New ceramics class devotee Betty Blum explains, “I worked, I took care of my kids, I never had the opportunity to try this…and I love it!”

Two artists represented at the show - Joyce Halper and Ann Horn - realized their talents when they were younger and are currently in the Friday afternoon watercolors class. When she was 49, Joyce joined her cousin at an art class, and the rest is history. She signed up for lessons at Brentwood Art Center and is still painting to this day. Currently working with watercolors, Joyce says, “I love it! Painting relaxes me.”

In addition to watercolors, Ann also counts painting on porcelain in her artistic repertoire. “It’s very delicate and special,” she recalls. “It had to be fired twice in the kiln.” Two of Ann’s pieces were on display at the show, with many more with family in New York.

The residents of the Jewish Home – where the average age is 90 – have rich histories. The art show was a delightful way to be reminded of their wealth of talent. To view photos, please click here.

Labels: Ann Horn, Art Show, Arts and Crafts, Betty Blum, jewelry, Joyce Eisenberg-Keefer Medical Center, Joyce Halper, painting, Seniors

Few things convey as much freedom and self-sufficiency as being able to drive a car. And especially in Southern California, driving can be more of a necessity than a luxury.

As we age, however, our driving abilities may change. To minimize safety risks to ourselves and others, it’s wise to understand how aging affects our driving and learn strategies that can help us continue driving well into our senior years.

Physical Factors
According to the Automobile Association of America (AAA), seniors are safe drivers compared to other age groups because they wear seatbelts, observe speed limits, and tend to avoid drinking and driving.

On the other hand, seniors face physical challenges that can impair driving. “Older drivers may have eyesight or hearing issues that affect their driving,” says John Beringer, Sr., California State Coordinator for the AARP Driver Safety Program. “Also, reflexes and responses are slower – it takes longer to transmit information from the eyes to the brain and from the brain to the muscles.”

Mobility may also be affected. For example, neck pain or stiffness can impair being able to look over your shoulder. Leg pain might make it difficult to move your foot from the gas pedal to the brake pedal.

Medication can also impact driving performance. More than 75% of people over age 65 take at least one medication.

Taking the following steps can help minimize potential physical problems associated with driving:

• Get your vision and hearing checked annually
• Have regular check-ups and talk to your doctor about how your physical condition and medications might affect your driving ability
• Choose a car with automatic transmission, power steering and power brakes
• Do exercises to improve your flexibility

Rules of the Road
AAA and AARP both offer driving classes for older adults. “A lot of what we cover involves reviewing and reminding drivers what they knew 30 years ago,” says Beringer. “Also, many older folks learned to drive from their parents, not from a driving instructor. So they may have learned some bad habits.”

Here are some safe driving strategies, many of which apply regardless of age:

• Leave enough space between your car and the car in front of you.
• Scan far down the road continuously so you can anticipate future problems.
• Minimize distractions inside your car, such as music volume.
• Plan your route before you get in the car.
• Minimize left turns. Drivers age 65 and older are disproportionately involved in crashes involving left-hand turns. Use designated left-hand turn lanes, or make three right turns to avoid making the left.
• Try to avoid busy highways and congested traffic.
• Consider getting a car with reverse monitoring and back-up cameras, blind-spot warning systems and other crash-avoidance technologies.

Relinquishing the Reins
There may come a time when it’s no longer safe to remain behind the wheel.

“Indications that it’s time to stop driving include getting lost on roads you should know, being told repeatedly by passengers that you missed a stop sign or finding scrapes on your car that you weren’t aware of getting,” says AARP’s Beringer.

He stresses that the age to stop driving can vary greatly. “I had an 89 year-old woman in my class with all of her faculties, and a 57-year-old that I wouldn’t want to be on the road with,” says Beringer. “We don’t age at the same rate.”

If you are concerned about someone else’s driving ability -- for example a parent’s -- join your parent as a passenger for several trips and at different times in order to get a good sense of his or her driving performance.

Encourage your parent to check his or her skills by taking a self-rating program (such as this one from the Automobile Association’s Foundation for Traffic Safety) or getting assessed by a professional such as a doctor, rehab clinic or geriatric care service.

Get a sense of your parent’s transportation needs and come up with options such as:

• Using local public and private transportation options. Try out these services with your parent in order to determine which are convenient and easy to use. 
• Offering to do the driving yourself.
• Hiring a trusted friend or neighbor who needs a little extra cash.

When possible, broach the subject before the need arises. Try to come up with a “game plan” you and your parent can agree on ahead of time.

And be empathetic: You wouldn’t want to lose your ability to drive, and neither does your parent. Keep the focus on your parent remaining safe while still getting where he or she needs to go.

Labels: AAA, Aging, Automobiles, Driving, For the Body, Nancy Sokoler Steiner, Seniors

We all want to be heard – to be acknowledged and understood. This is true for people regardless of age, and certainly applies to seniors. Yet when it comes to speaking with older people, we sometimes go about it the wrong way.

“Part of the problem stems from the loss of the communal society of our grandparents and great-grandparents, where old adults were part of the matrix of life ... All this has left us unfamiliar and unschooled in how older adults think and communicate,” says David Solie, MS, in an article entitled, “The 7 Common Mistakes Professionals Make Communicating with Seniors.”

However, there are ways to improve our communication with elders. They include recognizing physical needs, modifying our communication style and gaining an understanding of psychological issues.

Physical Factors
Devorah Small-Teyer, M.S.W., Director of Social Services for the Los Angeles Jewish Home’s Joyce Eisenberg-Keifer Medical Center, notes that simply accommodating hearing or sight issues can enhance conversation.

“Sometimes a hearing aide battery needs to replaced or amplified ear phones need to be provided,” she says. “It’s important to approach someone with hearing or vision problems from the front, speak to them face-to-face, and use hand gestures when appropriate. Make eye contact, put on a smile and address them respectfully by name to get their attention.”

Small-Teyer offers several more helpful strategies:

• Be patient. Don’t rush or force the conversation.
• Try not to finish others’ sentences. Give people time to form their responses
• Speak slowly, clearly and at a reasonable volume. Don’t mumble, but don’t shout, either.
• Try to minimize distractions, such as a television playing in the room, while conversing.

We may also make the false assumption that a slow response indicates a slow mind, but that is not necessarily the case. Increased processing time does not reflect a decline in reasoning skills or verbal ability.

Common Courtesies
In the age of multi-tasking, many of us may be tempted to check our phones for text messages or emails during a conversation. But this can feel disrespectful to the person we’re talking to. Seniors who don’t use this technology are especially likely to infer that we aren’t really interested in what they have to say.

Good communicators go beyond just understanding the information being conveyed. They also understand how the speaker feels about what he or she is saying. Try to repeat what the speaker has said, using your own words. And when it’s your turn to speak, communicate in a way the listener can understand.

Avoid “elderspeak,” the patronizing way of talking to seniors that sounds like baby talk. While it may seem like a way to show affection and encouragement, it feels condescending and infantilizing to the recipient. In fact, research shows that elderspeak can actually interfere with communication and foster contention rather than cooperation.

What’s Really Going On
David Solie, who wrote the article on seven communication mistakes, is also the author of How to Say It to Seniors, Closing the Communication Gap with Our Elders. He posits that seniors have unique developmental agendas. Just as toddlers and teens must work to develop identity and independence, Solie argues, seniors also have developmental needs. The mission of older adults, he says, is to maintain control over their lives in the face of loss and to discover their legacy – what will live on after them.

Solie believes this explains some of the communication styles we tend to negatively associate with the elderly, such as wandering from subject to subject, repeating stories, postponing decisions, or going on tangents.

“Such verbal behavior can be frustrating to us, because we haven’t learned to appreciate the tasks on their agendas,” he writes. “After all, we’re at the top of our game. We need to … cross off as many items as possible every single day. That process makes the middle aged feel powerful and in control… But elderly people have different motivators.”

We always run the risk of miscommunicating. But using patience, courtesy and clarity – regardless of the age of our audience -- will greatly increase the chance for success.

Labels: Communication, For the Mind, Nancy Sokoler Steiner, Seniors

Frank Sinatra made it sound easy when he crooned, “Forget your troubles c’mon get happy/ You better chase all your cares away.”

Yet happiness can seem quite elusive. Can we make ourselves happy? And is happiness really such a worthy goal?

Positive psychology is the field of psychology that looks at the science behind what makes people thrive. It has yielded research suggesting we can, indeed, boost our levels of happiness. At the same time, there’s no single key to achieving it.

Rather than a key to happiness, a better analogy would be a recipe, Ed Diener, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology at the University of Illinois, explains on his website. “Most good recipes call for quite a few ingredients. Some are absolutely essential, and others are merely helpful,” he writes. “You need to have multiple ingredients put together in the right way.”

Psychologists are quick to point out that no one can expect to be happy all the time, and different things make different people happy. Nevertheless, most people’s recipes for happiness include the following crucial ingredients:

Connecting With Others
“If I wanted to predict your happiness, and I could know only one thing about you, I wouldn’t want to know your gender, religion, health, or income,” says Harvard Professor of Psychology Daniel Gilbert in an interview in The Harvard Business Review. “I’d want to know about your social network --- about your friends and family and the strength of your bonds with them.”

These bonds with friends and family improve our sense of wellbeing and help us weather difficult times. They also confer physical benefits. Having a network of social connections appears to increase our immunity to infection, lower our risk of heart disease and reduce mental decline as we get older.

Pursuing Meaningful Activities
Having challenging -- but achievable – goals can give our lives direction, purpose and a sense of satisfaction. In fact, working towards the goal may be as important to our happiness as reaching the goal itself.

Professor Gilbert, author of Stumbling on Happiness, suggests that we also pay more attention to what our minds are doing. “When you wake up on a Saturday morning and ask, ‘What am I going to do today?’ the answer is usually about where you’ll take your body – to the beach to the kids’ soccer practice, for a run. You ought to ask, ‘What am I going to do with my mind today?’”

Cultivating Gratitude
Many researchers note the importance of gratitude – noticing and appreciating the good things in our lives. Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology at U.C. Riverside and author of The How of Happiness, found that students who spent 15 minutes a week for eight weeks writing letters about experiences they were grateful for showed increased levels of happiness immediately after the eight week period. The effect persisted six months later.

U.C. Davis Professor of Psychology Robert Emmons found similar results: Subjects who kept gratitude journals on a weekly basis exercised more regularly, reported fewer physical symptoms, felt better about their lives as a whole, and were more optimistic about the upcoming week compared to those who recorded problems or neutral life events. Emmons details his research in the book Thanks: How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier.

Lending a Hand
Helping others boosts happiness, provides a sense of meaning and increases our feelings of competence. Social connection is a key ingredient to happiness, and helping others is one way to create that connection. A study published in the Journal of Health Psychology found that regular volunteerism decreased mortality rates by 40 percent, although it is not clear whether those who volunteered were in better health to start with.

Taking Care of Your Body
Being active is important for both physical and mental health. Regular physical activity helps maintain thinking and judgment skills. When we exercise, our brain releases chemicals -- including endorphins, adrenaline, serotonin and dopamine – that help reduce anxiety and improve mood. Exercise may also help us sleep better, which positively affects our mood. Meditation is another means of reducing stress and improving moods. And of course, a healthy diet keeps the body fueled and keeps sugar levels constant.

Although it may take some work to be happy, it appears to be worth the effort. Dr. Diener lists a host of benefits that seem to be associated with happy people, including stronger immune systems, longer lives, greater success and better coping skills. And perhaps achieving happiness may not be as elusive a goal as we might think. As Dr. Lyubomirsky says, “It just takes commitment and effort -- as with any meaningful goal in life.”

Labels: For the Spirit, Happiness, Nancy Sokoler Steiner

Community Service Brings Jewish Home Residents and Crespi High Students Together

Recently residents of the Los Angeles Jewish Home shared music, card games, and conversation with over 60 students from Crespi Carmelite High School, a 4-year college preparatory school located in Encino. The school offers young men a Christian education in a Catholic environment. The students – all sophomores – spent time with residents of the Goldenberg●Ziman Special Care Unit and the Factor Skilled Nursing Building at Eisenberg Village as part of the school’s community service program, known as IMPACT week. “We take this time to give back to the community, which also provides great experience and an opportunity for growth for our students,” said vice principal Brian Banducci. “We enjoy seeing our boys rise to the occasion.”

Ann Sayre, a parent volunteer, accompanied one of the groups to the Home. “Unless they have elderly grandparents, it’s hard for the students to know what’s going on in this community,” she said. “Now they can see how helpful they can be and how much it means to the residents. With very little effort, they can make a difference in someone’s day!”

The students gave their visit with the Home’s residents a rave review. “We talked about our families, we sang together…it was a lot of fun!” said one student. When another student was asked what he learned from the experience, his answer was simple: “Patience” - a virtue we should all aspire to.

Resident Dorothy Marquis played Monopoly with some of the students. “They are so darling!” she exclaimed. “Spending time together gives them insight into the lives of seniors, and it made me feel young!”

Thank you to the students, faculty and parents of Crespi Carmelite High School including the residents of the Jewish Home as part of their inspiring IMPACT week.

To learn more about volunteering at the Jewish Home, please contact Stacy Orbach, director of volunteer services, at (818) 757-4442 or Stacy.Orbach@jha.org.

Labels: Board Games, Crespi Carmelite High School, Eisenberg Village, Factor Skilled Nursing Building, Goldenberg-Ziman, IMPACT Week, Volunteer

The Brandman Centers for Senior Care was featured in today's issue of the Spanish language paper, La Opinión, in an article by Yurina Melara Valiulis. We thought the story was so great, it had to be translated for our English readers!

A new comprehensive care program allows Alice and Miguel Reyes both 84 years of age, to remain in their home in Canoga Park despite various health problems.

This program for the elderly is located in the complex called Los Angeles Jewish Home. Brandman Centers for Senior Care/PACE started on February 1 and although it has capacity for 150 people, so far only eight have signed up.

Alicia has diabetes and takes many pills for different ailments. Miguel has constant pain in one leg and acute pain which hinders him every time he moves, also suffers from high blood pressure and high cholesterol.

Because of their age, they could be candidates to be transferred to a nursing home, but thanks to the Brandman Centers for Senior Care program called PACE (Program of All-inclusive Care for the Elderly), this couple may live longer independently.

PACE is a model of care for the elderly, which provides a full range of medical services - including primary care, specialists, testing laboratory, podiatry, dental, psychiatry, psychology, therapy, nutritional counseling, social workers, food planning services and transportation to the Center.

"We come to the Center twice a week. Here they treat us well, they give us therapy to keep us active and they also worry about our food,” said Miguel.

Gretchen Brickson, Executive Director of the Center, explained that this program is open to all adults over 55 years of age that start having problems and can’t take care of them, but that can be kept at home with help.

Nationwide there are 90 PACE programs, six of them in California. There are two in Los Angeles County; Altamed and now Brandman.

Victoria Solórzano, specialist in connection with the community of Brandman, said that Latinos should provide the opportunity to their parents or their grandparents to enroll in a program that helps them control their diseases and to feel better.

For seniors with Medicare and Medi-Cal, PACE is free of charge and to be accepted they must pass an inspection that evaluates fitness and mobility, as well as live in the service area of Brandman. Communities that qualify are: Agoura Hills, Calabasas, Canoga Park, Chatsworth, Encino, Granada Hills, Mission Hills, North Hills, Northridge, Panorama City, Porter Ranch, Reseda, Sherman Oaks, Studio City, Tarzana, Valley Village, Van Nuys, West Hills, Winnetka and Woodland Hills.

(Click here to view the original story in Spanish)
Photo Credit: J. Emilio Flores, La Opinión

Labels: Alicia Reyes, BCSC, Brandman Centers for Senior Care, La Opinion, La Opinión, Medi-Cal, Medicare, Miguel Reyes, PACE, Program of All-inclusive Care for the Elderly, Yurina Melara Valiulis