Los Angeles Jewish Home

One of my classes is called “Conversation with the Rabbi”, and the conversation last week was real and fascinating. Everyone knows the disadvantages of aging: the loss of mobility and other restrictions, the aches and pains, the fact that one is no longer looking forward to a long life of dreams and possibilities, and, in many cases, the lingering loneliness after the death of a husband or wife. But I wanted to know the other side of the coin. I asked each resident present to tell me if there were any advantages to old age. (It’s natural I should want to know, as that stage of my life gets ever closer!)

I expected to get laughed at. But instead, almost every resident in the class was able to talk about some of the blessings of being older. Some talked of being wiser. Others spoke of the joy of watching their families – their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren – and that this time of life was filled with the love they could give to their families, and the love they received from them. With less responsibility now, there was greater time and freedom just for the good things. Another theme emerged, too. There was time and opportunity to reach out and help others here at the Home. Many talked of living in the Jewish Home as a blessing: they received so much, and could also give so much.

None of these residents was being starry-eyed. None pretended that old age was just paradise, without real disadvantages. One woman said: there are good things about being older, but there are more bad things. But even she was happy to tell me about the blessings in her life.

Let me tell you about one of the Torah stories we read this month. The Israelites, on their journey towards the Promised Land, passed through a country whose king was so frightened of them that he called on Balaam, a foreign prophet, to come and curse them. But God made sure that all the words that came out of Balaam’s mouth were not words of curse, but instead words of blessing, telling of the Israelites’ future success.

Just as God turned curse into blessing, we too have the ability – if only we are willing – to turn curse into blessing. I often talk of recognizing God’s blessing in the events of our life – even seemingly negative events. This is not something magical, like kidding ourselves that dark is really light. But we do have greater power over our lives than we often think. Many years ago I was asked, how does one become blessed? I answered that if we feel blessed, then we are blessed. Changing our attitude towards life can actually change the way we experience life. That is the way we turn curse into blessing.

A resident who has recently changed location within the Home has been finding it so painful leaving behind familiar people – both residents and staff – that she can’t enjoy life where she is now. I know this can be painful, but I have also been suggesting to her that each day she try to find one good thing about her new surroundings, one little blessing. She tells me she is still finding it difficult, but I believe she is beginning to experience good, to find blessing in her new life.

Labels: Aging, Around the Home, Blessings, Blog, Conversation with the Rabbi, Elman, Family, For the Spirit, Israelites, Judaism, Letter from the Rabbi, Seniors, Transition

From the Summer 2011 edition of the Chai Journal


By Helen Bragar, 84
Los Angeles Jewish Home resident

I sit on the veranda and marvel at the breathtaking beauty of the orange rosebush as it soaks up, and seemingly reflects, the dazzling sunlight.

Blossoming trees and stately birds of paradise plants circle the perimeter of the patio just beyond. Birds are chirping, butterflies are flitting from bush to bush, and the flibbertigibbet hummingbird has dipped its wings into the cool water of the brimming fountain.

Spiky blue flowers line the walkway, and hordes of honey bees are gorging themselves on the sweet nectar. I wonder where they are going to take this bounty to turn it into delicious honey. The only things missing that could make this garden more heavenly are an apple tree, a man with a missing rib, a seductive maiden and a snake.

Oh well, I guess we'll just have to be satisfied with what we've got.

Labels: Bragar, Chai Journal, Flowers, Fountain, Garden, Residents, Trees

By Nettie Freeman, 87
Los Angeles Jewish Home resident

Since becoming a resident of the Los Angeles Jewish Home in September 2009, I cannot innumerate the countless benefits of living in this fabulous facility. However, I must admit there is one phase of my past that I miss tremendously.

I was an excellent driver for over 55 years, with a commendable record. In fact, in most recent years when many of my friends had to give up driving, I was the “designated driver.” Driving on the freeway, driving at night, escorting my friends to countless doctor appointments, shopping trips—they were no challenge for me.

And then, lo and behold, my own driving abilities began to falter. Before I knew it I had to forsake my driver’s license and, alas, my life changed. The freedom of hopping in the car and running my errands at will was indeed a privilege. One doesn’t realize the extent of that freedom until you can no longer exercise it.

I promised myself that when that day came, I would be noble and accept it valiantly. But that is easier said than done. Often times I find myself in the “oh dear” mood, but fortunately I’ve overcome it quickly. I realize there are far worse compromises in life than not driving.

Talking to other residents here at the Jewish Home, we all have the same lament: “Oh, how I miss my driving!”

But we have all adjusted and take advantage of our volunteer drivers, city-ride, Access, taxis—yes, life goes on, even without a driver’s license.

Labels: Aging, Car, Driver, Driver's License, Driving, Freedom, Health, Independence, Los Angeles Jewish Home, Nettie Freeman, Residents, Seniors, Staff

Each year, the Los Angeles Jewish Home organizes a golf "marathon" fundraiser called the Longest Day of Golf. Participants golf as many holes as they can in an entire day, raising money for the Jewish Home's various life-enhancing programs along the way. This blog recounts the Longest Day of Golf 2011, held on July 11. Special thanks to El Caballero Country Club in Tarzana, CA for allowing the Jewish Home to use its entire course without charge, and to Someone's in the Kitchen for donating the meals for our golfers!


By Jason Weiss

Well, I did it!

It took 12 grueling hours, ten bottles of water, six golf balls, four protein bars, three bottles of Gatorade, and a  partridge in a pear tree.

In total, it took me 463 strokes to get around El Caballero Country Club six times. That number was assisted by both Mother Nature deciding to take it easy on me, and a four-foot gimme radius for the first three rounds.

I present to you a running diary of thoughts, highlights, and achievements throughout the marathon. Note: all times are approximate.

5:35am: BEEP BEEP BEEP. As my alarm goes off, I can only think to quote Ron Burgundy in the movie Anchorman: "I immediately regret this decision."

6:37am: I start on the third hole (don't worry, I went back to finish the first two holes before lunch) with a monster tee shot down the left side of the fairway. I hit a wedge to the middle of the green and two putt for a par. One down, 107 to go. "Oy vey," I thought. After all, we are playing for the Los Angeles Jewish Home.

7:50am: It is every golfer's instinct to drive from the 18th green into the clubhouse, where an ice cold adult beverage is usually ripe to be consumed. Not only this day. An immediate right turn and back to the first tee. First round statistics: I shot 73 (remember the four foot gimme radius) with three birdies (No gimmes on birdie putts) and played one hour and twenty minutes.

9:20am: Round two is in the books. This was probably my least favorite round. The light at the end of the tunnel was too far in the distance, and the excitement of what I signed up for was in the rear view mirror. I made no birdies, shot a respectable 79, and was just happy to get it out of the way in 90 minutes. Thought for the second round: "I've just played 36 holes at El Cab in the time that it takes most members to play 12 holes. This is how El Cab should be played!"

9:40-9:55am: My best three-hold stretch of the day. On holes 39-41, I went birdie-birdie, birdie, including a 130 yard bunker shot to eight inches. I could hear my dad saying "I hate you" after the third tap in. I shot 75 in round three. Halfway home.

11:55am: Here's a question that I had never thought about before Monday: How many consecutive holes must one play in the same golf cart before the batter light turns on? Answer: I first noticed it on hole 60. At 63, I changed carts. Time for lunch.

12:00pm: Lunch. A turkey sandwich, fruit salad, pasta salad, chips, and a slice of apple pie were accompanied by a nice speech from Jewish Home CEO-President Molly Forrest. I don't really remember what she said. All I remember thinking was "Ahhhh, air conditioning."

1:05pm: I made a friend at lunch, and we decided to play our last two rounds together. His name was Jason as well, and was the second youngest participant, at 42. He was a really nice guy, but not such a great golfer. I tried to give him a bunker lesson. It didn't work. My lesson to him for the rest of the day: "Jason, when you hit in the bunker, just pick it up. We don't have time for you to hit four shots in each bunker." He agreed. Round four: 77.

2:40pm: Second wall. Hole 80. I don't know what you know about a golf swing, but a golf swing is more body than arms. The two have to work together for the ball to be hit far and straight. My arms and body are no longer working together. If my golf swing was Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston circa 2005 before lunch, it is most certainly Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston circa 2011 now. The honeymoon is over...this is no longer fun. Round five: a really surprising 78.

3:15pm: Hold 86. "Another $200 for the Jewish Home" was the mantra that Jason and I kept repeating after every hole as we played in the heat of the day. "Keep grinding."

4:15pm: As I stick my tee into the tee box on the first hole for the SIXTH and final time, I realize that I've made it. Ninety holes down. Only one more round to go. If my body wasn't shaking, I would've leaped for joy.

6:45pm: SHANK!

6:55pm: Victory! As my four foot par putt hit the bottom of the 18th hole, my day was over. I had done it. One hundred and eight holes of golf in one day. I raised my arms as best I could and triumphantly high fived my playing partner for the afternoon. Round six: 81. Four Hundred and Sixty Three total strokes.

As I type this with my bruised hands, while sitting on my sore rear end, which is still not as sore as my legs and feet, I am overcome with a sense of pride and humbled by the generosity of everyone who supported me throughout this challenge.

When I decided that I was going to raise money on behalf of the Home for this event, I would have never anticipated that I could raise over $10,000. I am truly touched by this feat.

I would like to thank you personally for all of your support. I look forward to playing in this event for years to come, and your support is greatly appreciated.

If you'd like to talk about this event, ask any other question about the event or the Home, please feel free to leave a comment.

Thanks again!!!

Labels: El Caballero Country Club, Fund Development, Fundraising, Golf, Jason Weiss, Jewish Home, Longest Day of Golf, Los Angeles Jewish Home, Marathon, Philanthropy, Putt, Seniors, Staff, Stroke, Swing