Los Angeles Jewish Home

Skirball Hospice chaplain Rabbi Aviva Winocur Erlick wrote an amazing article for The Jewish Journal. We decided to share it.

I work as an on-call hospice chaplain, and I am often paged following the death of a patient. I was called recently to support a rather large group who had just witnessed the death of a woman in her 90s, whom I’ll call Bea.

Bea had been not just a mother, a grandmother and a great-grandmother to family members, but a surrogate grandmother to others, who came to cry with the family.

I shared a prayer written to be read following a death, which includes the phrase: “even though her life was incomplete.”

Bea’s loved ones thanked me but then shared that they disagreed with the prayer. Bea’s life had been absolutely complete. There wasn’t a thing more that she or anyone else had wished she had achieved. They even showed me a video taken the morning of her death. Bea could be seen speaking calmly from her bed, wishing blessings to all of her loved ones, by name. She was clearly at peace with her circumstances and wanted everyone to feel the same.

This week’s portion, Chayei Sara (The Life of Sara), actually begins with her death. The second sentence of the portion reads: “Sarah died in … Canaan; Abraham began to eulogize for her, and to weep for her” (Genesis 23:2).

Commentators often take time this week to eulogize Sara, too. As it says in the Talmud, “Three days are for crying, and seven for eulogizing.” Weeping is essential, but eulogizing, telling the story of a person’s life, must not be put off too long. It is essential to the grieving process to experience both our sadness at the loss, and our faith that the life lived was good, worthy of recollection, an inspiration going forward.

The first sentence of the parasha seems to teach this point. To translate literally, it says: “And the life of Sara was the 100 years and 20 years and 7 years of Sara’s life” (Genesis 3:1).

Why the odd repetitiveness? Rashi, a medieval commentator, writes that it is because all of Sara’s years were equally good. The Sfat Emet, a Chasidic teacher, adds that this doesn’t just mean that no days were especially bad. For a righteous person, no day is any less spectacular than the most amazing day of one’s life. Every year, every day for Sara, was fantastic!

So how do we square this with what we know about Sara’s life: the pain of famine; the disgrace of having to bed local kings to save her husband’s life; the frustration of waiting into her 90s to birth Isaac; and the humiliation of growing to despise, and eventually evict, her servant Hagar and her husband’s first son, Ishmael, from their camp?

Apparently, despite all these hardships, Sara was also consistently happy. According to Jewish teachings, happiness is not the result of good news or pleasant circumstances. It is a matter of perspective. “Aizeh hu ashir? Hasameach b’chelko,” it says in the Mishna: Who is rich? The one that is happy with his lot.” Similarly, the Psalmist writes, “Mi haish hechafetz chayim? Ohev yamim lirot tov.” Who among you loves life? The one who wants to see good all his days.

Sara lived every day as a good day not because good things happened, but because she wanted to see them this way. She chose to be satisfied, to find reason for gratitude — as Bea did even on her deathbed. It is a mental exercise that these women model for us all, both on the physical and spiritual planes.

Being “happy with our lot” usually brings to mind the idea of being aware of, and satisfied with, our circumstances. If we choose to, we can find opportunities to appreciate, rather than take for granted or be chronically discontent. Call it an “attitude of gratitude,” a mindfulness practice or a legacy in the making.

Beyond this is the question of calling. Our “lot” or “portion” could just as easily mean our truest work, our destiny. God speaks to our hearts, and if we listen, we can live God’s work through our own. Sara served as half of the partnership that founded our religion, helping her husband Abraham to teach the word of the One God. According to Rashi, when Genesis says the couple traveled with the “souls they had made,” it meant the people who had been won over to the faith that was yet to be named Judaism. Sara was a Teacher of Israel.

May we all learn to live the life of the righteous taught by Sara and by Bea. When we pass away, may there be many who gather to weep, eulogize and dedicate their lives to what we taught, just by how we chose to live.

Shabbat Shalom.



The Skirball Hospice is a program within the Los Angeles Jewish Home's continuum of care.

Labels: Chaplain, Chayei Sara, Complete, Cross Post, Death, For the Spirit, Hospice Care, Jewish Journal, Life, Rabbi Aviva Winocur Erlick, Share, Skirball Hospice, Staff, Torah

The Jewish Home and our upcoming centennial celebration are on the cover of this week's issue of the Jewish Journal!


The Journal's Ryan Smith wrote an incredible article chronicling the Los Angeles Jewish Home's growth and evolution, and it's impact on LA's Jewish community. Smith also reports how recent state and federal budget cuts influence the Jewish Home's plans to care for 5,000 seniors within the next five years.


We're absolutely delighted to receive this excellent coverage from such a respected publication. As the Jewish Home begins celebrating its 100th birthday, we'll continue moving forward — providing world class senior healthcare for another century.


Read the full article, Turning 100: Los Angeles Jewish Home has ambitious growth plans.

Labels: 100, Budget Cuts, Centennial, Cover Story, Elderly, History, Jewish Home Services, Jewish Journal, Los Angeles Jewish Home, Ryan Smith, Seniors, Staff

Cross posted from The Jewish Journal's Keeping the Faith blog


By Ilana Angel


As Valentine’s Day approaches, it’s easy for a single gal to feel a little sad. It’s the day of love, and even though my life is full of people that I love, and who love me, the one thing that will be missing from Valentine’s Day is sex.  According to countless medical journals, a woman reaches her sexual prime in her 40’s, but if you’re single, there is nobody to have sex with.
Sex is the one thing that separates a relationship from all others.  It is special, important, required and the single greatest thing about being a grown up.  At 44, I have reached a level of comfort when it comes to sex.  I have no hang ups talking about it, or embracing my body so I can enjoy it. Sex is a great thing, and it took me a long time to get to this place.
There is no longer a need to suck in my stomach, or wear lingerie that covers parts that have relocated to new positions.  I may not have the greatest body, but it’s mine, I know it, and I am an expert at operating it.  Who would have thought that at 44 I would feel sexier than I did when I was 24?  It’s a beautiful thing, and it’s being wasted by my lack of sex.
Just when I was about to pour myself a glass of wine, and enjoy an afternoon pity party, I was sent a video that has changed my perspective.  It turns out there is no need to panic.  Even if it takes me a little longer to meet someone worthy of having sex with, I will still be able to have and enjoy sex.  Whether I’m 45, God willing, or 100, God willing, sex is going to be great.
The Los Angeles Jewish Home has created a special video about finding love.  It introduces us to Dorothy and Harry, Jeanette and Ira.  These love birds are in their 80’s, 90’s and yes 100 years old, and they are having sex!  God Bless these crazy kids, and bravo to them for openly talking about their sex lives.  I think they are adorable.
I could still have a pity party because there are people in their 100’s having more sex than me, but instead, I am going to think positive and take comfort in knowing each day I get older does not mean I am one day closer to never having sex, because sex is coming.  Eventually. I will impale myself if my next sexual encounter happens when I’m 100, but it’s coming.
According to the Los Angeles Jewish Home, “being in love can boost self-esteem and decrease depression and anxiety. Being happy in a committed relationship can improve your immune system, leading to fewer colds and visits to the doctor, and can even lower blood pressure.“  Sex is a great thing that also happens to be great for you.  Whoo hoo!!!
Story continued after the video. ED. NOTE: This video really gets cooking at the 2 minute mark.
 
I hope that everyone has love on Valentine’s Day.  Whether you believe in the holiday or not, it’s a day to embrace love.  I embrace love every day, which is both a blessing and a curse.  Maybe I need to focus less on love and more on sex?  Maybe instead of dating online, or getting set up by my friends, I need to hang out at the Los Angeles Jewish Home.
I’m not going to date a resident, but perhaps I could meet a son, grandson, or doctor, who is also inspired to find love by these love stories.  Mazel Tov to these lovely couples, and congratulations to The Jewish Home for this brilliant piece of marketing.  I’m still having wine, but instead of a pity party, I am toasting to finding love, and knowing it will come if I keep the faith.


Read the original blog post here.

Labels: Couples, Cross Post, Ilana Angel, Jewish Journal, Love, Residents, Romance, Sexuality, Staff, Valentine's Day, Video